A Marines Daughter
by amberwiltsey
Summary: A marines daughter fighting for her life


Chapter one

Precautions

For the past few months I have been on my own away from Alexandria scavenging. I was only at Alexandria for a few months before we started running out of food. In a world where the dead live it's really hard to get some service. Daryl wanted to come with me, but I needed to go on my own. Besides I don't need help, he knew that he was just worried that I was going to leave and never come back.

Daryl and I became instant best friends, he knows how to fix bikes and I know how to fix cars. We both had a hell of a past, but I didn't tell him EVERYTHING. I mean the parts I left out were pretty big, but they weren't important.

On the way back I hit up a factory and it had all sorts of food in it, but I stopped a little bit before home to hunt a deer. As I got closer to home I noticed there were tons of trucks outside the gates. Not even ours… so as a precaution I hid my food truck in the woods miles away from home.

I had my sniper on my shoulder, mypack on my back, and of course my glock in my holster. As I walked home my stomach began to twist and turn. I never get scared, I get nervous and there is a big difference… I never show that nervousness, because an enemy can play off of it. That's when people you love can get hurt.

Chapter Two

No turning back

The gate was wide open and I walked right in. There were soldiers all around, outside the walls inside the walls. Spread out inside the walls. I looked over and Daryl was in a dirty pair of sweatpants, and a dirty sweatshirt with an A on it. Then the next thing I see is rick facing me and a tall man with a leather jacket on talking to Rick has his back turned to me. Rick was holding a bat with barbed wire wrapped around that. When I saw that baseball bat, my stomach sunk to the ground and my heart jumped out of my chest.

The man slowly turned in my direction after he saw Rick giving a weird look not in his direction. I had guns pointed at me, but nevertheless as soon as that Some bitch turned around I knocked him on his ass. Surprisingly enough he caught himself before he fell.

He walked towards me and looked me deep in the eye, which caused Daryl to react but a man with a messed up face pulled him away.

" Well, hello there." He said. " Aj, this… this is Negan. HE! Runs this place now. You need… you need to listen to him. You can't do that." Rick said.

" I know who this some bitch is." I pushed Negan out of my way and walked off pissed.

" Oh! Dear wife, we're going to have us a chat later." Negan said. I flipped him off and walked to my garage, my safe place, the one place Negan is and isn't at the same goddamn time.

Chapter three

Code Orange

When I was 16, just a kid was the first time I met Negan. It was just my father and I and we heard from other people that there were a group call themselves the Saviors, they were causing trouble. We had just rolled back into Washington D.C on a run and we had to stop because it was going to get dark soon. My father and I were setting up camp for the night it wasn't quite dark yet, so before it did I went out to go fishing and my father went out to get logs. When I came back with loads of fish, I saw my father kneeling on the ground. I didn't like what I saw, my father saw me before they did and mouthed "RUN" to me. I shook my head. ALWAYS FAITHFUL!

I took out a few of the soldiers all the ones that were in front of my father. At the time I didn't realize that there were more soldiers. I should've known there is ALWAYS, more. They took my guns and they forced me to kneel next to my father.

My father and I looked at each other, we figured since earlier that day we took out an whole outpost for there guns and food. Come to think of it, before I killed the last one, he happened to say the name Negan and he said he was a Savior. We thought well shit, we screwed up. We didn't know the seriousness and how bad it was until we were kneeling on the ground.

The sun was going down and it was getting cold, my leather jacket was keeping me warm. I didn't know what we were waiting for, but we were waiting for about 15 minutes. I whispered to my father " Semper Fidelis." Which means ALWAYS FAITHFUl. It's a marines language. Since I was five my father has raised me as a marine. Not as a child, not as his daughter, but like a marine. Before the end of the world I was already a human killing machine. I feel nothing for no one and I guess that's just the way it has to be.

In the bright setting sun and army like truck stops right in front of us. A tall man with slicked backed black hair, a leather jacket, and a baseball bat wrapped in barbwire hopped out.

He walked towards me and my father we looked at each other and we were on the verge of laughing. We thought that guy looked like a freaking clown. But he had numbers, so I guess the joke was on us.

" Hi… I'm Negan. I didn't catch your names…" Dead silence. My father and I just stared straight ahead. " Do you have names… come on it isn't that hard. I'm trying to be nice here, have some human decency." Negan said. He put the baseball bat in front of my fathers face.

MY father looked him dead in the eyes and gave him a little smile, "Captain Dawes."

"Captain Dawes… Haven't you heard the world is invaded by dead people,Captain Dawes. I applaud your patriotism, but there is a knew world order. "

He took the baseball bat out of my fathers face and knelt down to my eye level. " How bout you sweetheart you got a name?" I stayed silent

" Oh...I get it you're afraid of me. Plenty reason to be… I'm either going to kill you or your father tonight… but you might as well tell me your name before I" He made a click sound with his tongue.

" Me? Afraid of you? I've met dead dogs scarier than you." I said. " Wow! Look at you. Your daddy the man in the Army or whatever the hell he was in. He made you this way right? The perfect weapon. You ain't afraid of shit… horrible parenting skills, but what do I know."

" Apparently not a lot. Because if you did, you could tell he was in the Marines jackass."

" Wow! I bet you got your daddy's temper too… well I asked you a simple ass question which turned into a whole big pile of shit… so I'm gonna ask you one more time other wise I'm not asking anymore. And I really don't got time for stubborness. I like it in a woman, but I will just kill you. I hate killing women, but your getting on my nerves. And that is hard to do… so what is your name sweetheart."

A took a deep breath in " Aj, Aj Dawes." " Thankyou… and Aj that is one badass name… honestly I thought it was gonna be something like Tank or Nuke. Some shit like that… but Aj. Does that stand for something."  
" Yeah… Avoiding Jackasses… which clearly I'm not living up to my name." I smiled and Negan smiled back.

" Cute. Not funny...but cute." His smile quickly faded and my father looked straight at me. Like this guy is Loco Coco.

" So now we're getting down to business. Your going to kneel there and your going to shut up. Unless you are spoken too. Now I'm gonna kill one of you… with-"

" How rude of me! I forgot to introduce you to Lucille." He held out his baseball bat.

" This… this is Lucille… and she is awesome. Now we ALL have been introduced to one another we can get down to business." He said.

" I heard through the grapevine that someone attacked one of my outposts last night. Killed every single one of my men… except one. One escaped. Told me that some army like man and his daughter killed every single one. Quietly and fast. In the dark no less… Just slit their throats in there sleep… that is some messed up shit… you guys wouldn't know anything about that would you?" He asked.

My father and I looked at each other. We turned away from each other and looked back at Negan. I shook my head. " Nah… I wouldn't… I don't… I mean how could my father and I kill all those people on our lonesomes. It's just us… and plus that man said army… we're Marines."

" Oh… okay." He put the baseball bat in my face. Then in my fathers. " Wow! Your daughter. I like her. She has big balls for a chick. You did a great job… so I'm going to go with you also taught her how to lie too. And you taught her how to kill. In MANY, MANY ways. Including silently... "

He walked over to me. Looked me in the eyes and smiled, he raised his bat and right when I thought he was going to kill me. He clocked my father. My father wasn't out right away. He was struggling to talk and I was in shock his blood all over me. All my father managed to say was " Sepafy." We never ever said I love you to each other. It was ALWAYS " Semper Fidelis." ALWAYS FAITHFUL.

After my father said that, Negan bashed his head in again and again and again. Hell I think he did maybe ten times. His blood was all over me, but I didn't cry a tear.

" Whoo… Lucille was getting thirsty. She hates hitting women. I hate killing women… now you see AJ. I didn't want to do that, but I had to. You and your father killed my people. A whole damn lot of them. For that you had to pay… "

I was silent and looked straight ahead. He also had blood from my father on him. Lucille was covered in flesh and blood.

" Wow! Your father made you cold as shit. Not even a tear. For the person who's kept you breathing… I like it… I want you to understand AJ... I want you to understand who's in charge and the knew world order."

" I didn't do this for joy… I did it because you have to understand shit like this can't fly… and when I heard a girl who's what 18? Something like that killed more people than I've ever had. I had to meet this special Marine." He said.

I looked him in the eyes with my look." Clearly you don't know shit… because if you did. You wouldn't of done that. I will kill you… I might not be sad, but I am pissed. You will not and can not get away with this shit… because one day when you least expect it I'm gonna slit your throat with my fathers knife… or I'll make you choke on his dog tags… I will kill you and don't you doubt it." I said.

He kneeled down to my eye level again. " Okay you cocky little shit head, lets see you try. Lets see you try to kill me. I know you can, but you won't… because after I get done breaking you making you into MY soldier your not even gonna think twice about killing whoever I tell you to kill." He said

" I'm a Marine bitch… I was made to withstand the worst torture for the longest time. So try it… I don't care. Breaking me is like trying to break titanium with your bare hands… it's impossible."

" That's what they all say… until the day I do. Then they say "I'm Negan." with a kneel."

" Maybe you ain't met anybody like me yet sweetheart." I said. He smiled and stood up. " Simon load her into the truck."

Before Simon could grab me I took my father's dog tags out of the mess of brain mush, flesh, and eyeballs. Simon loaded me into a truck, next thing I know I was being thrown into a cell… a cold, dark, lonely cell.

Chapter Four

They don't know who I am or who I was

In the garage there still sits my beautiful black 1970 Challenger. Untouched by everyone thank God for that. I sat with the lights off on a stool, looking at my car knowing it needs its oil changed. I poured myself a glass of scotch and walked over to my car and popped open the hood with my scotch still in hand. For some reason or another I put it on the floor… then realized that I would just knock it over with my foot and I put it on my work bench. I grabbed my wrench and screwdriver. I put a pan under my car and I went to work changing my oil. My father taught me how to work on cars, along with many other things. I've always kept my father's picture in my house, in my garage, and my car… he's the one who taught me everything I needed to know to survive.

Back when I was just a kid, and my father was trying to train me I never understood why. Now what use to be a pain in the ass to do, is a God sent.

I was about finished changing my car's oil, Negan knocked on my garage door. I didn't look at him, and I didn't say one God damn word to him either.

He opened the door and walked towards me. He had Lucille over his shoulder. I've always hated that dumbass baseball bat… and the dumbass carrying it.

" Hello dear wife. Can we have a chat please… I have not seen you since… oh yeah right before you took my bride to be and left."

" Leave me alone Negan." I said. " You know I can't do that Aj. There are rules. You stole from me. You can't just leave whenever you feel like it Aj. You had a big spot to fill. Which is still not filled... so you can either come back with me or otherwise… like I was telling Rick earlier. I will cut pieces off of Daryl...and by the way he acted today it seems like you guys are close."

I closed the hood of my car and through my wrench on the workbench knocking over my glass of scotch and the photo of my father and I on my seventh birthday… he gave me a sniper. And we were sitting on the hood of the very car I just changed the oil in. I walked over and put the photo of my father and I back up. I poured myself another glass of scotch and chugged it.

" Your drinking again?" Negan asked. " I never stopped." I said. The conversation picked up again.

" Negan… I don't care if you cut pieces off of Daryl...because you'll kill everyone that I enjoy talking too… and it will never end… not until I'm dead anyways. You're going to keep killing those people. You will always find me and there will never be one last person… not until your demise or mine…"

He walked closer to me. " I didn't do it for joy… I did it because you need to know shit like this doesn't fly."

" Clearly you don't know shit… because if you did. You wouldn't of done that. I will kill you… I might not be sad, but I am pissed. You will not and can not get away with this shit… because one day when you least expect it I'm gonna slit your throat with my fathers knife… or I'll make you choke on his dog tags… I will kill and don't you doubt."

I pushed Negan out my way again and made my way onto my front porch. Negan walked up the stairs before I could open my door.

I had my back turned. " SIT! Let's have a real conversation with out too much yelling."

Chapter five

Fighter

I sat in the cold, dark, lonely cell for hours exhausted not wanting to sleep because I was worried that if I did something would happen. Just moments before I was going to give into sleep I heard a girls voice.

" Hi… I'm Abrea… I know you're new here and I heard that your just a kid...like me, so I just want to give you some advice. Don't piss Negan off. Just do what he says, and you won't get hurt… "

" Look Abrea… thanks for the advice, but I'm not like you. I was raised to deal with this sort of thing… besides even when I was a kid I wasn't a kid… you should run along now your parents are probably worried sick about you."

" I'm an orphan… even before this happened...anyway I better go before someone sees me."

" Hold on Abrea… I'm Aj, maybe we can talk later." I said. " Yeah… I would like that."

Later into the morning Negan came to talk to me. It was not a pleasant visit. " Hey Aj… now that you've had sometime to think of what you are going to do I need to know… are you going to join my cause. Or are you gonna stay in here another night?" Negan asked.

" I don't know I kind of like it in here. Its nice and dark, you can think about different ways of killing people without disruptions all the time. It's kind of nice…" I said.

" Okay then...let's take a walk." Negan and I started to walk down the hall to outside. He walked me to the fence.

" Look out there Aj… what do you see… if you keep doing what your doing your gonna see yourself out there… now personally I like you… you have some huge ass balls for a chick your size, but that doesn't mean I won't kill ya. You are more manageable than your father. You my dear were crafted for a certain reason. You were made to be a soldier. Whether there was gonna be this world or not. So take a long god damn look, cuz I don't want to put you out there, but I will if I have too."

I shot him a look… and then a little smile. " Nice try sweetheart. Your gonna have to do a hell of a lot more than that to scare me."

" Okay… I guess you need a little more time in the box… Fat Joey! Get your fat ass over here."

Joey walked over to Negan and I. " Take Aj here to her box… I guess she needs some more thinking time."

Later that night Abrea showed up again. " So who are you? Because your like a legend around here. I've only heard stories… about the outpost."

" Well Abrea, my names Aj and I'm just a legend. All legends usually come to an end."

" I know that Negan probably took out whoever you were with just to prove a point, but I've been here long enough to see… if you don't listen to Negan he will kill you. No doubt about it."

" No he won't… he knew that he could use me to be a soldier. I'm still young and he can make me into his soldier… I am something that they don't have… I am someone they need… and I will NEVER give in!"

" Fine I won't mention it again… but you should take my advice… so do you mind if I ask you a few questions."

" No… go ahead." I said. " Why are you like this? Why are you cold? Why won't you give in? Why don't you listen to anyone?"

" My father was not the best. He kept me alive barely that… after my mom died he had me do intense training. I was only five, and he pulled me out of preschool. From a young age I knew how to shoot, kill, stab, fight, be a good liar, withstand torture, be cold, survive the worse of the worse, and I just was smart… my father made me into an asset. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

I heard her take a deep breath in. " I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through that-"

" I'm not… it made me stronger, it made me not feel anything. So when I saw my father die I felt nothing… but anger. I have nothing holding me back and that's okay."

" But why don't you give in? Why are you so cold?" She asked. " Look. I'm not like YOU! I'm cold because it's easy for me to be that way. I don't give in because I might kill people and be a weapon against people, but I'm loyal to a fault and I never give in."

I'm not sure why I shared my life story with her. I didn't trust her that was for sure, but my life story was just a freaking story, it doesn't matter. If she tells Negan I don't give a shit, that kind of torture doesn't work against me. Maybe I told her because she was an orphan just like me. She asks questions and I answer, simple as that. Negan asks questions I'll jump around and stall just to get into his brain, then BANG! He snaps and I can use that shit against him.

" You don't know me… and I don't expect you to understand… you have a switch to turn your emotions on. I don't… I just don't." I said.

" I don't even know if I have that switch anymore." She said. " Don't worry you do. You have it… even if you have killed people, you still have it… because if you didn't you wouldn't be asking me these stupid ass questions."

She stayed silent for a second. " Just… I hope your going to be alright. I hope you'll survive." She whispered.

" Don't worry bout me." I said. " I-I have to go… but I'll talk to you later." She walked away from the door and I still sat against the door. I whispered. " Don't worry I'll survive, I'm a fighter."

Chapter six

Why?

I sat down in my favorite porch chair… my father made it. There was a large wine box that I made into a little covered. It's very misleading, I hate wine. It has bottles of scotch in it. I twisted the nob like a door and grabbed a bottle of scotch and two glasses. I poured myself and Negan one too. He sat next to me in another old wooden chair that my father made.

" Wow! You are well mannered. I kill your father and I have your friend killed, and you still pour me a drink." Negan said.

I shot him a look like 'seriously dude'. " What the hell is wrong with you... " I said. I had my scotch in hand.

He ignored what I said. " So why'd you leave?" He asked. " Well you got right to the point didn't ya. You've always been really good at not dancing around shit. You don't really embarrass easy either…"

" Your good at dancing around shit. Making people get distracted from what there first thing they were thinking. Your good at timing things just perfect to, have someone trust you finally ya take that trust and you just shove it up its own ass."

" Okay I see I'm not going to distract you, so I'll get right to the point… I didn't want that for Abrea not at the least."

" So you thought well, hell. Death would be better for her… you took off you knew I was going to find you."

" I thought… you would kill me. Not her. I didn't care if we got caught and I died, but I never thought she would. I figured you were smart enough to kill me, you had a second chance too. You were stupid then like you were stupid then and stupid now. You should've killed me when you had a chance."

" So you ran, not for you, but for her…" He asked.

" Yeah… I know what your thinking, did the girl I know, even her… yes she was is and will always be a cold hearted bitch... but don't forget loyalty is very important."

" Well, it doesn't matter anyway. Your coming back with me. Because you stole from me. You are an asset. Which means, since you ran you stole one of my most valuable soldiers… in other words you owe me." He said in a loud voice.

" Whatever asshole. I don't owe you shit… now leave me alone." I stood up and headed for the door, but Negan grabbed me and stood up. He dragged me down the stairs out into the street.

" Now which of these fine people am I gonna have to kill because of you?" he asked.

He pushed me down onto my knees. There was a soldier behind me with a gun against my head. His people were on the right side of me, while my people were on the left.

" So. Aj! Who's gonna have to die, because of you… I mean who else has to die because of you… your daddy died because of me. I take full responsibility for that, but Abrea that's on you. All on you… now who is it going to be?"

Daryl was standing there staring, he was begging me to choose him, to just to choose him. But I couldn't kill him, I like him. Rosita I can't kill her. And the rest of these people I can't get them killed either. I did this. I just go here. I will offer to go with Negan. Follow Negan's rules. I don't want anyone else to die because of me… but I couldn't say a word. Words weren't forming. Just my stupid resting bitch face.

" Alright… alright… I'll choose for you Aj." Negan smiled. Chills went right up my spine.

" Negan! You don't have to do this. I'm sure whatever Aj did, she can make up for it… you don't have to kill anyone else."

" Rick! You know what! Aj can make up for it. She can come back with me, and she can apologize for stealing from me." He stared at Rick while talking, but pointing Lucille at me.

" But Aj, is choosing to be difficult, just like when we first met. So someone has to die. Unless! Aj here can talk me out of it. And I hope for her sake and my sake that I don't have to kill someone."

" Aj. Aj please-" Rick said before Negan interrupted him. " No Rick! Aj has to do this all by herself... " Negan turned to me again.

" So how bout it Aj. Are you going to come back with me, and you can start making things right… only if you want to though. Or do you want me to kill some sorry sack a shit and drag you along with me anyway. Throw you in a cell and possibly you could wind up on a spike working for me as a dead woman… so choose wisely. I think I'm being fair."

I stayed silent, and Negan only waited for a few seconds. " Fine… damn it! I really thought you were going to come over to the green side of the yard, but instead you're on the shitty side still…"

Daryl was crying and so was my people. Rick was just pissed, but he had tears in his eyes. Negan walked over to Rosita and put Lucille in her face.

" So I remember Rick telling me that your really close to Aj." Negan asked. " Yeah so! What about it."

Negan grabbed her by her neck and put her one her knees right next to me. He lifted Lucille. Everyone was yelling at him to stop. Yelling at me to stop it. My pride finally died down a little

"WAIT! I'll go with you! I'll go with you only if you don't kill her!" I gave in. Once again. I gave in.

" Now was that so hard? You took a while, so I'm still gonna have to do this." He said. I realized what he wanted, he wanted those to magical words.

He lifted his bat again. " No! Please don't! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Negan." I said.

He stopped and smiled. " Okay! You talked me out of it… "he got down to my eye level and put lucille in my face. " Now don't pull the same goddamn shit you pulled before. Don't pull this shit again… and stop giving me that goddamn stink eye. I hate that."

He pulled me up. " We will talk later Aj." He said.

Chapter seven

Falling behind

For about two months I held out from Negan. I stayed in my cell and Abrea came and visited me every day. She came EVERY day… but then one week for a few days she had to stop. Then when she finally came shouldn't couldn't talk to me like she usually could.

" Aj I can't talk for long… I think they found out that I've been talking to you. They assigned me jobs that take a lot longer to do. There way harder jobs, and they have way fewer points… I just want you to know that I might not come back if I don't make enough points. I might be dead, or I might not come back because I'll be working or to hungry or something… or worse. Negan will offer to marry me! Anyway. You probably don't know all about this system… shit I got to go. Negan's coming."

I took a breath. I couldn't believe what I just heard. These people are here are just total shitheads. I hate them, but I know what I have to do.

Negan swung open the door. " So Aj. I'm gonna give you one last chance… who are you."

" Well it depends… I know what's in it for me, but I need you to do something for me… and if you do. I'll give you my loyalty. And if you agree to it I'll say what you want me to say, I'll do what you want me to do. Simple as that."

BY this, I knew what got Negan's goat. I knew how his mind worked, and I knew how to screw with him without him knowing. He kept me alive for two months in a cell. Where I was no use at all to him.

" Okay I'm listening." He said intrigued. I stood up. " Abrea… she's a worker here. She's falling behind on points… she'll still work, but I need you to promise to give her easier jobs with more points. Leave her alone. Don't let anyone screw with her… I have that part down, but I just need you to do that. I know you're a man of your word."  
" Okay. So… that must be the girl who got caught talking to you." Negan said.

" Well she just wanted to tell me that I need to do whatever you say. And now I finally I understand." I said.

" Well Damn! That's a messed up deal and I really didn't think you would do this for anyone, because you didn't even cry when your father died… but I do want you on my side and not on the spike so I guess I will do that for you… "

" Now! Who are you?" He asked. " I'm Negan." I said. The words were disgusting in my mouth. There's not enough alcohol in the world to make the taste get out my mouth.

" Also can I get a kneel out of you." Negan smiled. I took a deep breath. " Yeah sure."

I kneeled down and I never hated myself more for that. " Okay you can get up now." Negan said.

Chapter eight

Don't

I went back up to my porch I sat there with no emotions. Not speaking and not drinking. I just sat there and stared.

Rosita walked up the stairs and sat next to me on the top step. " What the hell was that."

" I'm sorry Rosita… I should of said something sooner." I said. " Yeah… you should of."

" Look I don't expect you to forgive me, because I don't expect you to understand."

" Understand? Understand what? That you rather save your own ass then someone else's. I thought you were a marine." Rosita asked.

" I am… you haven't had to do the things I've had to do Rosita… I'm sorry I froze… but what you don't understand is that Negan won't stop. Unless I die or he does. This has happened to me before. He kills people I lo-care about and uses them against me. I killed for that man. I probably killed over a hundred innocent people for him. I slept with him, I kept him safe… but all he cares about is himself. At one point I realized that he played me… once he was in my blind spot of course... I dragged my friend out of there to save her ass. Not mine but her's. I could of stayed even though I was Negan's bitch. I knew it… but I knew there was worse. Because I seen that worse. He brought that down upon Abrea and I. But I still fought, and I'm not giving up… so before you think I was trying to save my own ass. You should know that, I would feel the guilt of your death sitting in a cold dark cell by myself wondering if Negan's gonna kill me or not… I was always going to save your dumbass. No matter what."

" It's time to fight Aj." Rosita said. " No its not… not yet not now." Rosita stood up pissed.

" Fine whatever… but I'm going to do what I have to do." I stood up as well. " Rosita… you have a key to my house. They already took your guns...so there going to take all of our guns… I have guns under this very porch. There in a box, keep them there until you really need them. Negan is very powerful. He has roughly 500 soldiers under him. Don't be a fool." I whispered.

Rosita looked at me and started walking down the stairs. " Oh and Rosita. Don't let anyone touch my car when I'm gone."

She smiled and nodded. " Don't worry no one's gonna touch your damn car." She said.

Negan walked over to me after Rosita left. " It looks like you went soft Aj. It seems like it you, Abrea and Rosita. You trust them enough to tell them who you really are."

" Don't! Just don't… I didn't go soft. You have ALWAYS known my one weakness is loyalty. Being loyal means being truthful."

He smiled. " Well you are right about that. Loyalty is about being truthful… so where did you hide what you scavenged. I mean you had to found something you went on a two month run and your an expert hunter… so where did you hide my goddamn stuff at?"

" In the woods." I said hesitantly. I didn't want to say, but I had too. I'm no longer my own person. I need to put that mind. At least act like I belong to Negan again. Get him to trust me. Maybe then I can make my move.

He took a deep breath. " This is really just a dumbass question to ask, and you really shouldn't of had me ask it… but where in the hell in the goddamn woods?"

" It's not on the map, so I will have to go if you want it." Negan looked at me with a deep creepy look. He walked up the stairs with Lucille in hand.

" Who are you?" he asked. The question I regretted. " I'm Negan." I said. " Well, I need to see if the old Aj's back anyway. If you try anything...anything at all. I will kill Rosita."

" I'm not stupid Negan. Your acting like I am." He smiled. " Okay… let's go get my stuff then."

" Fine. lets go." I picked up my sniper from next to my chair. " Do you really think I trust enough to hold a gun… give me it. And the one in your holster."

I stared at him. " NO ONE, touches my guns. Not even you. If you can't trust me then boo who. Cry me a freakin river. If I try anything then someone will die. Simple as that."

" There she is. There is territorial Aj. Come on. We don't got time for this shit."

Chapter nine

The pain weighed out the pride

Negan brought me into a room. It looked like an apartment. It had a bed, a microwave, a fridge. Real food.

" This place is yours now. As long as your loyal." He said. " You mean this place. The one we're standing in."  
" No. I'm talking about some other place that were standing in… yeah dumbass this is your place."

" All of this?" I asked. " Damn. Yeah we're going to cut this place in half. Yes all of it."

" Okay… cool, but I don't need all of this. I would be happy with just sleeping in the cell."  
" What? Are you shitting me? What are you talking about. You don't get it damn it. You are going to be one of my top soldiers. You want something you take it."

" Oh sweetheart. I have no problem with that. I'm just having a hard time believing this is all mine."  
" Well believe it sweetheart. Because this shit is gonna happen. I know your a smart ass, so I'm gonna tell ya something. You can smile. Your living now that you made the right choice. Just keeping making the right choices… you don't have to be afraid."

"WATCH IT! I'm not afraid of shit. NOT EVEN YOU." I said sharply. " Wow! That fire. I want to play with it… I'm gonna let ya get settled in. But there's a walkie on that table, when I ask for you. I'll walkie in… I'll warn you we do things all throughout the night. You won't have a problem with that will ya."

" What? No! Are you stupid. I'm a Marine for god sakes. I do most of my work in the night."

" Yeah! I know." He said with a sharp look. I smiled. " Oh um… can I ask you for one more thing."

" Yeah whatever." Negan said. " Well, I need another bed. For Abrea. She's by herself."

" Yeah I'll have someone bring one up. When we leave." I walked over to the nightstand by my bed. My sniper was leaning against the table, and my pistol was on my nightstand. MY dads dog tags that they took away from me was next to the gun. I can't forget that my fathers knife and my own knife was right there.

" Are these my guns?" I asked. " yeah I kept em for ya. I knew you were going to come around."

" Thanks." I said. Negan left the room. He couldn't be that bad I thought for one second, then I thought of the night my father died. I don't know who Negan really is, which scares me. I can read everybody and anybody, but he's a sexist,thirsty, psychopath, with some sort of personality disorder, he's definitely a narcissist, but he also has a heart. So I'd say he's a broken a wasn't always like this.

I rummaged around the fridge and I found a bottle of milk. It wasn't spoiled either fresh. I looked up on top of the fridge and I found a box of frootloops. My favorite. I'd never pass up a bowl of frootloops.

Three hours later I was waiting for a walkie talkie call, while drinking scotch and watching the best of The Looney Toons on VHS. I had a knock at my door.

I got up and opened the door. It was one of Negan's loyal soldiers. " What do you want?" I asked.  
" Negan. An angry worker has Negan with a gun pointed at his head… there in the courtyard. He wanted me to talk to you." He said clearly out of breath.

" Alright, Alright. Calm down. I'll deal with it." I said. I grabbed my sniper and a bag of goldfish. I went across the hall to a window that was overlooking the courtyard. I put my bag of goldfish down on the window seel, and I opened the window and I knelt down to take my shot. But before I did I popped a couple goldfish in my mouth. My sites were set on Negan, but I put my site right on the workers head and blew it off.

I stood up and threw my gun over my shoulder, I grabbed my package of goldfish and popped a few in my mouth before going back in my room.

The thing about me is when I have orders to do something, I don't think about it. I just do. I didn't think or feel anything for that worker and that's okay because that's how I survive.

I didn't stay to see what Negan's expression was like, but I bet it was pretty damn funny.

About an hour after I took that shot, I heard a knock on my door. I opened it and it was Negan.

" That was a good goddamn shot. Your father would be proud." He said. Negan walked into my room and sat down in one of the dining table chairs. I leaned against the sink.

" The shot yes. My skills would, but everytime I could make that shot. My mother however wouldn't of wanted me to kill an innocent soul without a reason… she was a hippie." I said sarcastically.

" How did she die?" He asked. " When I was five, she died of cancer. My mother didn't want me to be this. But we all become people our mothers never wanted us to become Right?"

" Cancer? Huh? That sucks." He said. " I'm glad she didn't have to live in this world though, she was too good to kill she would of died in a heartbeat. But I don't think about the people I killed. I don't really care about them."

" Is that how you took that badass shot so fast? You didn't care about the person. You didn't care if he had a family or not? Damn! Ice cold! I like it."

" Yes and I'm highly trained to deal with this shit, I was trained to be cold as ice. I wasn't thinking about you either. If you died by his hands then you would die, but I never fail. It was my mission to take out the target who had you at gunpoint. So I took him out." I said.

" Come on. I have some rather nasty business to attend too. That man, has a family. His son knew that he was going to do this. He has to be punished… this punishment is way over do anyway. One of my wives use to be married to him, he's snuck out of guard duty a few times to meet up with her."  
" And that's not okay?" I asked. " NO! She's my wife." He said. " Sorry I asked."

We went down stairs. I put my pistol in my holster. It felt great to carry it again same goes for my knife.

When we got down there everyone was standing around, they kneeled for him when he came. I went to the side of the crowd and stood by a girl that seemed the same age as me. When I heard her talk I realized that she was Abrea. We both didn't know what each other looked like. A man was sitting in a chair. Not even a man, more like a 19 year old. I saw a man by the fireplace, the same man that told me about Negan. He had an iron on a fireplace poker thing. The wives all in black stayed huttled around the wife that must of been married to the 19 year old. Young love. Disgusting.

" Hi Abrea." I whispered to her. She looked shocked that it was me. Abrea held tight on to me and she whispered in my ear. " Aj?" Then she thought." I know what you did. So thankyou. You shouldn't of but thankyou."

" Whats going on." I whispered back. " You might not want to watch… he's going to burn his face with the iron."

" Are you freaking serious? That is awesome!" I laughed. " Aj!" Abrea whispered loud. "Sorry." I whispered.

" Today Justin's father decided to try to kill me. For some unknown reason… if Aj didn't take his father out I would be dead right now...and Justin here knew about it. He has also been skipping out on guard duty. So he has to learn a little lesson… Alex is the iron ready?"

" Yeah." Alex said. " Give it to me." He walked over and took the iron from his poker. He picked up with his glove hand.

" I'm not gonna lie this is gonna hurt like shit. So if you get through this and respect me maybe we can be friends again… anything you want to say. Maybe something to plead your case?" He asked.

" Go to hell asshole." Justin said. Good job, tell that rat bastard. I thought. Then I remembered. I have to be on that rat bastards side.

" Okay then." He put the iron to his face, and he started screaming. Abrea was looking away, but I was looking right at it without emotion on my face. Justin passed out from the pain. When Negan pulled the iron away it peeled away skin and flesh.

" Damn. Shit, the pussy passed out." He said. " Alright everyone you can back to work… but somebody clean this shit up."

" Aj. I got to go back to work." Abrea said. " Okay. Um… but before you go. How is work going?"

" Good. I was put on easier jobs with more points. So everything's good again."

" That's good. Talk later. I have to get back to work myself." I said. " Yeah. Sure."

I went back up to my room, I didn't see where Negan went. I don't really give two shits, but I've gotta feeling that I'm gonna have to keep tabs on that asshole.

When I got back into my room there was another bed. It wasn't squished in. It fit just right. There was another night stand on that side too.

I opened a bottle scotch and waited to tell Abrea. I layed down for just a minute, but I ended up falling asleep and I woke up two hours later. I went down stairs to where the workers live and Abrea was sleeping on her cott.

I shook her awake. " Hey." I whispered. " What is it? Did something happen." She asked.

" No. Just come on and bring all your stuff." I said. " What? Whats going on?" She asked again.  
" Just bring all of you stuff." She packed up her suitcases. And she only had two. Not a lot of stuff, but she also had a backpack that was full of stuff. That she always carried around. We went up to my room.

" The bed farthest away from the door is yours." I said. " No way! You mean it! We're freakin roommates in this badass room! Damn… Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou!" She yelled.

" Calm down. Your going to wake up the whole goddamn place… now go to bed. You can unpack your shit in the morning."

I turned of the light and we both layed down. " Goodnight." I said. " Goodnight." Abrea said back.

Five minutes later almost into sleep. " Aj?" Abrea says. " Yes Abrea?" I asked.

" I get it now. I get why you didn't give in for so long… you didn't give in because you need a reason. A reason to fight for someone else… your not that cold. Your just being strong and strong sometimes gets mistaken for coldness."

" Shhh. Don't tell anyone. The moment someone realizes that, is the moment when I'm not as scary."  
" I didn't say that. You still scare the shit out of me…" She said. " Well I'm glad you think so… now go to bed." I said.

" Okay goodnight." She said. Two minutes later almost into sleep again. " Aj." Abrea whispers again. " Yes Abrea." I said even more tired.

" Thank You for helping me. If you weren't here. Something bad would of happened. I'm so glad your cold strength didn't stop us becoming friends."  
" Me to Abrea, but I really need to go to bed now. I don't know what Negan has planned for me in the morning." I said.

" Sorry." She said. " Its okay… just go to bed. We can talk in the morning."

" Okay. Goodnight Aj." She said. " Goodnight Abrea." I said.

Chapter ten

A short trip felt like forever

Negan and I took one of his trucks. Only one other person came with us to drive that truck back. As we made our way to get "his" stuff, it wasn't an awkward silence like I hopped.

Negan had his arm around me, but only for a second. " No, no, no, no, no. We are no longer together Negan. None of this shit flies. Capeesh?"

" The last time I checked we were still married. Or am I wrong about that. We were like the dream team. And I'm trying to get that back together… I never stopped looking for you. You were by far my favorite soldier and my favorite wife."

" Whatever Negan. As soon as I left that god forsaken place I forgot about you." I said knowing it was a lie. I looked away from him. He took his arm out from around my shoulder. He carefully placed his hand under my chin. He gently turned my head towards him.

" You just lied to me." He whispered. " In this case, I'm okay with it." He looked deep into my eyes.

" I didn't." I cleared my throat, all of a sudden it go dry. " I didn't lie to you." He smiled. " Yes you did."

" Okay I lied." He still had his hand under my chin. He leaned in real close and kissed me. I kissed back mistakenly.

" So you did you miss me." Negan said. " When I left that place, I didn't want to leave, because it was my home. And I really liked you, I thought we were the dream team as well… but when I went back out there with Abrea. I realized that out here is where I belong. My father didn't want me to be a weapon. That's why we were always by ourselves, because once people saw what I could do. They wanted me, bad. Because they knew they couldn't loose with me. You were something different I convinced myself of that. And you truly were, but the harm I did, we did together. That was something amazing. We were dangerous together, but the world isn't ready for us again."

" Darling. This world has always been ready for us. That's the point of this world. In this world we can only fit in, because we are leaders. Not goddamn peasants. We need to act like royalty." He said.

" Okay… we're here." I said. Negan got out the truck first. Then I did. " We have to walk a little ways out."

Finally the awkward silence I was hoping for. We got to a broke down old shack. I hid the truck in between some trees and the broke down old shed. He couldn't see it right away because I don't do a half ass job at hiding my shit.

I walk over and pull the brush away from the truck. I jump in the driver seat while Negan was standing waiting for me to drive the truck out aways.

I got out of the truck because I heard something in the woods and I saw birds fly over head. The next thing I know walkers are coming out of the woods coming right towards us. They were on both sides of us. I pushed Negan into the truck and slammed the door behind him.

Gunned down a whole damn lot of them until I ran out of bullets, so I switched to my pistol. I ran out of bullets again, then there were only about 10 more walkers to take out. A walker came at me, I grabbed it by its skull and slammed it against the truck. Negan got out of the truck with lucille and helped me take out the rest. There were about three walkers left I was getting one while Negan was taking his anger out on another. The last one snuck up on him just before it could bite him I grabbed my knife and put it through its skull.

" Always be aware. Haven't I saved your ass enough." I said. " Just shut the hell up and get in the goddamn truck." He said.

" Your just mad I saved your life again." Negan got in the driver's seat and I got into the passengers.

We drove to the road and his soldier was on the side of the road so Negan stopped.

" What was the gunshots sir?" The soldier asked. " Ugly dead bags of shit tried to kill us. Where the hell was your dumbass…"

" Well I-you said." Negan interrupted him. " Never mind. Lets go."

Chapter eleven

Loyal to a fault

Abrea was still sleeping, I made breakfast. Eggs, bacon, bagels, and a great big glass of scotch. Not for her of course. She gets milk. She's way too young to be drinking scotch. We're the same age.

Abrea woke up to the smell of breakfast. " No way. I can eat bacon now and eggs?"

" Yeah. What did you use to eat for breakfast?" I asked. " Well I never had enough points to eat breakfast. I just had enough to eat dinner… what did you use to eat for breakfast?" She asked while shoving her face full of eggs.

" Well. Here I only had one meal and it was usually dog food. Yum right, but when I was with my father we rarely ate. But when we did we would usually just eat beef jerky or beans. If we got lucky frog legs."

" Eww. You were really living out there." She said. I lied. My father and I, we were always prepared. I just lied because she needs to know that she's got it good. Because there were really times where we didn't have food and when we did it was something really gross.

I finished my food quick because I was called over walkie talkie. " Sorry I got to go, but see you in a bit… there's more eggs in the pan. Same goes for bacon. Eat whatever your heart desires… but not my froot loops, my goldfish, or cheese balls. But the rest go nuts. No drinking alcohol while I'm gone either." I said.

" Yes mom. I know mom." She said sarcastically. " Smartass." I said. " I've got to go to work in an hour way."  
" Lucky your not on call all the time." I smiled. I grabbed my walkie and put on my belt. I put my gun in its holster. MY life on my belt loop. My snipper over my shoulder and my go bag on back. Negan pounded on my door.

" Lets go!" He yelled. I opened the door already to go. " Remember what I said Abrea." I said.

" Yes Aj. I know… go have fun." She said. I shut the door behind me. " What are we doing today?" I asked. " Today, your going with me to prove a point."

" Well, that's vague. But okay." I said. " After. We're going to collect my shit from other communities. Things usually get emotional. And when people are emotional things start to get messy. After that we go to other outposts, and last but not least we're going to have to prove a point against another stupid ass community which just recently tried fighting against us, but lost."

" Packed full day, good thing we're starting early." I said. It seemed like it was barely six in the morning. Dawn was just breaking.

Negan made his speech to his men and he jumped into a separate truck from me. Thank God for that! I think he's growing on me.

All the trucks stopped around a very small community in the woods. Women children were running all around while the men got ready to fight. The community didn't have much. There were some log cabins, tents, RVs.

Negan got of the truck and walked over to me when I stepped out of the truck.

" I want you up on the tree line." He said. " Are you sure you don't want me down here. Things already look bad."

" No. I want you up there just in case you have to take a very much needed shot."  
" Okay fine." I grabbed my bag out of the truck and threw in over my shoulder. My snipper was already over my shoulder.

I started to climb the hill as Negan started to yell. He was probably giving another goddamn speech. I only got half way up the hill before the shots started to ring out. I ran up the hill, I found a clear spot. I tossed my bag to the side I put the scope to my left eye and started to take the woodsmen out.

Of Course this had to happen on like my third day. I kept taking shots until I heard someone running at me I turned around and they were right on my ass. It was a woman, she smelled like she hadn't taken a bath in a month. But her hair was commed. Her cloths were clean. She couldn't be too much older then me, maybe 18.

We started to tossel around. She pushed me down and punched me. Only once. I picked her up by the collar of her shirt and slammed her against a tree. I slammed her head against again, but she pulled a knife out and stabbed me in the shoulder. I screamed in pain. I dropped her, she fell to the ground but she didn't stay there. She jumped right back up and slammed me against a tree. I couldn't take it. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, but this time no way. I grabbed my knife from my belt. I stabbed the woman in the jugular vein, blood sprayed out of her neck. She was still fighting.

" Why don't you give into death." I asked knowing the answer too well. She struggled to talk. " I don't know. Why do you do this." She asked.

" I was thinking of someone else." I said. " Well that's why I can't." She said. Still fighting me still struggling to breathe. In a matter of minutes she will die. Usually not a lot people can survive it. But she really wants to live, she's fighting hard to live not knowing she's moments away from dying.

I couldn't take it any more. I grabbed the knife that was still stuck in her throat and I sliced her throat. " I'm sorry." I whispered just before I killed her.

I still had a knife sticking out of my shoulder, but there was a battle down below me. I couldn't deal with that now. Negan wasn't down below he got away, but a lot of The Saviors were down there. I took out a whole damn lot of the woodsmen from up high, but I had to stop to reload my gun. A herd a walkers must of heard the gunshots and came my way on the hill. One was nearing closer and closer. My bag was on the ground away from me so I couldn't get my pistol, my snipper wasn't loaded and my goddamn knife was stuck in the kids throat. I was out of options, so as the walker came near I slammed its head against a tree and pulled the knife out of my shoulder and put it into it's temple. I pulled it out, I ran to the 18 year old kid I pulled the knife out of her throat.

All of a sudden all the gun fire down below stopped. The trucks all disappeared. I don't understand why, I guess there were only like 20 people left. More walkers started to approach me. Over 20, I could handle them I just don't have enough ammo to take them all out.

The 18 year old kid started to change. I ran over to her before she became a walker and I put a knife in her temple. I pulled it out and left it with her since it was her knife.

I put my knife in my backpack and I threw my snipper over my shoulder. I had my pistol in its holster again. I threw my bag down the hill and I started to climb down the cliff. My left arm gave out and climbing with one arm is not easy. The walkers started to tumble down the hill one by one, my hand slipped and I started to tumble down the hill. On the way down I hit my head on a rock. It didn't knock me out, but I was woozy and my head was bleeding. The walkers that tumbled down the hill made it look like I was one of them, so the woodsmen that were left didn't shoot me.

When I made my way all the way down the hill I grabbed my bag and ran behind a tree. I reloaded my snipper behind the tree with bullets that I had in my go bag. I took out the rest of the woodsmen and whatever others that had guns. There were very few children left, and very few women left. The kids I guess got caught in the crossfire.

The women and children that were left were cowering behind some trees. " I'm not going to kill the rest of you. But I suggest you guys get out of here before The Saviors or walkers come." I said.

" Your one of them? Why? Why do you do this your just a kid." A women asked.

" No. I'm not one of them. I was thinking of someone else. I have to do this shit. I'm sorry." I said.

The women looked at me like any mother would. " Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. Whatever they have against you, whatever they did to you. Made you like this. You weren't born like this. You still have goodness in your heart.' She said.

I smiled. " Get out here before you get hurt… I got to go."

I started to run. I found a car about two miles down from the community. I decided to turn back around and get what the rest of them didn't. So Negan would be contempt. They left a lot of there shit. I collected lots of can food aad things Negan might want, things I wanted. Scotch… goldfish… FROOT LOOPS! I found a first aid kit and before I left the camp. I had to stitch my shoulder up because I couldn't let it bleed. My head stopped bleeding, but I figured I should patch that up too.

By the time I was done packing up all of Negan's shit it was dark. I didn't really care much, I always use to travel in the dark with my father. So off I went, and maybe if I'm lucky, I thought. Maybe I can get there before midnight. And so I drove on my way "home".

Chapter twelve

Home

Negan and I drove up to the gates. One of his people opened them. He drove in with a stupid smile on his face. I got out of the truck and slammed the door walking briskly to my house. I stopped in my tracks Daryl was staring at me with tears in his eyes.

" We all do what we have to do Daryl. Especially when your thinking of someone else." I said.

" What did he do to you?" Daryl asked. The scar faced man pulled him. "Hey!" The man yelled.

I ignored the man. " Him? He didn't do shit." I walked away towards my house. Negan walked after me.

" HEY! We're leaving now." Negan said. " I got grab something. Something important."

" Fine. Hurry your ass up, I got other shit to attend too." he said. " Whatever shithead."

I went into my house and ran up stairs. I grabbed a couple pistols that I hid up stairs, my father's life, and my dog tags. I never wear my dogs, but I wear dad's… Abrea's bracelet that she made me, her necklace, and an old stuffed dog.

I threw that stuff in my go bag. I slung over my shoulder and said goodbye to my place of residents. When I went outside Negan was standing on my porch.

" Are you ready now?" He asked. " Yes. I'm ready." I said. Negan didn't have Lucille in hand. Rick did. Negan put his arm around me, I didn't say no that time. I didn't feel like.

We left Alexandria. Negan and I were in the same truck. Surprise surprise. And it wasn't awkward silence like I hoped.

I was staring out the windshield." Aj?" Negan asked. " What Negan?" I said sharply.

" Back when Abrea… you know. You were different. Why?" He asked

" I don't know Negan. Why do you ask such stupid questions." I asked. He smiled. " Damn. There's that fire again… I think you do know. I'm probably the only person who can tell when your lying."

" Why do have to bring up history? It happened. It's done with. Forget about it."

" Oh and there are those goddamn smoke screens… it must be pretty goddamn juicy. Did you figure out that Abrea used you to get what she wanted. To live in a goddamn apartment." He said.  
" No. I knew about that along time ago, and I got over that." I said. " Okay then. Did you know this one. When she fell behind on points the second time because she was sick." He used air quotes. " Did you know that I got her to do that, so you would marry me."

" Yes, I knew that too. Did you know, Abrea fell in love with you? Did you know that one?" I asked.

" No. And there are those goddamn pesky ass smoke screens again… so did you sleep with her boyfriend? Kill someone she cared about? Or did she do something to you? She used you, lied to you, acted like she cared about you… but that was all just a whole lot of shit. To just-to get what she wanted." He said.

" Yeah I know Negan. I know everything that she did… but I'm loyal… besides I know what your trying to do Negan. Your trying to make me mad so I tell you what I'm hiding from I don't think this is the time nor the place to talk about it."

" Damn. Look at you. Back to normal, ordering me around." He said.

Chapter Thirteen

Savage

I arrived at the gate a day later. I had to stop because of a goddamn herd and then on top of it all, a stupid ass group that dressed like the dead. They tried robbing me. That didn't go over well. I was already pissed about my shoulder, my head, Negan. He was testing me. Or some dumb shit. I don't know.

When I got to the gate, shouldn't say gate… more like fence. The guard on duty was a real jackass.

" Who the hell are you? Never see you here before." He asked. " Are you a stupid shit or something? I saved Negan two days ago. Oh, and I just saved his ass yesterday. So, if you don't mind..." I waited a second he stayed silent and didn't move.

"Open the damn fence! I'm not in the fu… you know what. Get Negan out here. NOW!" I said.

He grabbed his walkie talkie. Calling Negan. I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want to see him. I wanted to talk to Abrea, see how she's doing.

Negan came marching out. He yelled at the guy in charge to open the damn fence. He looked at me, he walked closer and got in my face.

" I knew you were alive. I really thought you were in one of the trucks. But I knew you could handle yourself."

I just nodded, I walked over to the car and grabbed my shit. Still outside the fence making sure I wasn't to get bit. I grabbed my gun bag, and my go bag out of the car.

" Is that all the shit that those redneck scumbags owe us… by the way are there any left?"

I started to walk now on the opposite side of the fence. " There all dead." I said. I walked into The Sanctuary. First stop home. I dropped my shit off in my apartment. Looking for Abrea, nowhere to be seen. I asked around they said she went scavenging to get her mind off me. Naive kid. I will ALWAYS make it out.

After I dropped my shit off and looked for Abrea, I went to go see doctor Carson.

" Hey got a second." I asked knowing that he did, because he didn't have any patients.

" Yeah… your Aj right? You saved Negan." He said. " Yeah I'm Aj, I didn't really save him. It's in my job description."

" So…have seat." I sat down on the weird ass chair thing that they have in all doctor offices.

" What's the problem? Your head? Looks like it was stitched up." He said. " yeah I did it. But, I also was stabbed in the shoulder. I need you take a look at it because I'm not a goddamn doctor and I don't know if it hit and muscles or nerves. Or some kind of doctor jibber jabber that I don't understand."

" Let me take a look at it." I lifted up my short sleeve. He looked at it for a second. It was stitched up and had a bandaged on it on both sides. Since the knife did go through it.

" Yeah. This isn't going to work. You have to take off your shirt so I can get a closer look."

" Ah… damn. It took me forever just to put it on." I said while knowing it was a lie. I slowly took off my shirt, it hurt whenever I moved my shoulder. When I took it off he gasped.

" What? Is it that bad." Knowing that wasn't what the gasp was about. " No… no. Its fixable. I don't think anythings too badly damaged. But I have to take out these stitches and restitch it myself… do you mind turning towards me."

I turned towards him my back was turned towards the door. I always hated having my back to the door.

Doctor Carson was just about finished stitching up my shoulder when Negan came in.

" I've been looking all over for you." he said while my back was towards him, knowing that he could see my scars. And probably a bullet wound scar.

Carson finished up. " Carson! Do you mind?" Negan asked. " I'll come back after and restitch your head wound." He left the room. Negan was still behind me staring at my scars, he walked over to me and put his hand on my back. Touching my scars. I stood up fast and put on my shirt.

" What do you want Negan." I asked. He ignored my question. " Where did you get those scars at?"

I ignored his question. " I got shit to do." I started to walk out, but Negan grabbed me by my arm and sat me down on the chair. He leaned against the counter.

" You don't have to go anywhere. You just got back from killing all those people… you get to be rewarded… but first answer my question. Where did you get your scars?" He asked.

" How does anybody get scars Negan? We all have stories, some people let those stories define them. Ruin them. Even break them, create them into a monster. But others grow up and realize that's how life is. When shit hits the fan, you just can't give up. You brace through it."

He cracked a smile. Not a full smile, he knew I knew his whole story. That scared him, he doesn't want that.

" Your father gave those to you didn't he?" He said. " Yeah. So what." I said. " You're constantly loyal to him. Always loyal. Or whatever you guys say. I mean said. And that piece a shit did that to you. What the hell?"

" It wasn't that bad. To take torture and withstand pain, the first step is knowing what pain feels like. Getting cut wasn't the bad part." I lifted my shirt up, just enough to see my stomach. My stomach is flat. Not getting to eat much is the reason, but my arms are big my legs too. My stomach had scars on them.

Negan intensely looked at them. " What the hell? What the shit are all those?"

I pointed to the one right under my pancreas. " Knife. Bowie. My dad came back after a long trip. To hell knows where. Doing God knows what. He came home mad as shit. He gets drunk and starts taking it out me. First he starts kicking me, he broke a rib. Then he punched me in the face, and gave me a black eye. Stupidly I fought back. I knew how and he was mad that I was better than him. He grabbed his bowie knife. Knew right where to get me so I wouldn't die. Got one of his weird ass Marine doctor friends that does the same thing to his son, to come over. He fixed me up. I was still training. With a cracked rib and a knife wound."

" Shit. What the hell. What is this one." He pointed to the one above my appendix. That by the way, my father had taken out.

" That's ah. That's a painful memory. That's from a glock 16. Cop. A cop friend of father's did that… my father left for another one of his trips. Long story short, the cop got handsy. Got mad shot me and my father was pissed about it and killed him. Right in front of me, it wasn't my first time watching the light go out in someone's eyes."

" A bullet wound scar… did your dad ever shoot you?" Negan asked. " Yeah." I lifted up my right sleeve.

" I was out in the woods. Training. My father was up high in a tree. I didn't know that was what we were doing that day. He's a hell of a shot, he made sure to shoot me, where I wouldn't die right away… I still remember what he yelled to me." I smiled.

" He said. You better move your ass, otherwise your going to bleed out! Always be alert next time… I was miles out from home. My dad disappeared into the night. I was bleeding out, so I had to find something to sew up my wound with. I didn't have much in my go bag, but for some reason there was a tack in there. It stopped bleeding for a bit and that was my window. I grabbed my knife and I prayed that damn bullet I sewed up the wound. Made a camp spot for the night and made a fire. I found my way back the next day. My dad took me to Dairy Queen. That was probably my best training session I had ever had."

" The best. Goddamn you had an awesome childhood. And your upset with me because I killed that bastard?" He asked.

" Yeah. For all his faults, he was still my father. An asshole I just stayed alive with. I learned how to survive, that's how I made it back here. I know how to survive the worse of the worse." I said.

" Alright, tomorrow. We have some shit to do. So doctor Carson is going to finish doing whatever the hell he does."

Negan left the room, and Doctor Carson came. " Okay Aj I'm just going to patch up your head and you can go."  
" Thanks." I said. After Carson was done I found out that Abrea came back from scavenging. She didn't know I was back.

Abrea was helping unload the shit she brought back. I tapped on her shoulder.

" What!" She said sharply. Then she turned around and realized it was me. " Oh my God! Aj! Your back." Abrea said.

" Yeah Abrea I'm back." After I was called on easy missions for that last week. Then finally Negan, bumped me up a rank. I became his personal bodyguard.

Chapter fourteen

Home sweet home

Negan let me settle back into my apartment. It was untouched. Just like I left. Fresh food was in the fridge, scotch on my nightstand. Wow I thought, this guy is too cocky. He knew I was coming back. Not really a choice though. He ALWAYS makes it seem like a choice, he makes it seem like a friendly place to live. Until you realize you were played to do what Negan wants you to do. It's too late anyway. You can't run, you can't hide. You made a decision and your stuck with it. You belong to Negan, and if you try to run he will find you. He will ALWAYS find you.

Despite everything you don't give into Negan, there is ALWAYS a way out. You just have to look hard enough.

I was sitting at my kitchen table when there was a knock at my door. I opened the door and surprise surprise it was Negan.

" So. Are we gonna have that chat now?" Negan asked. " Nope. Not now. Not ever. So if you don't mind. I got some shit to think about." I said.

" Well goddamn, your back to normal… anyway I probably made it a little confusing, but let me rephrase. We are going to have that chat now."

" Damn son. I think you lost your touch. What happened to a choice, shithead. Well I guess I have no choice… oh wait this is still America bitch. And I will do what I please."

" America?" He walked towards me and sat his ass down in a kitchen chair. " The world ended, you patriotic little shit bird. This shitty as country that use to be shitty ass America, now belongs to the goddamn Saviors. You probably don't like that shit, and it's a nasty ass pill to swallow. But swallow it you most certainly will. Now I respect the shit out of you, and I hope you can respect me again. Cause I need you to be that fireball awesomeness that you once were. So, lets be friends."

" Okay. I guess I can try being nice to you. Which will be a hard ass job to do, considering that you are not the easiest person to work for. And we have had are run ins, but for my groups sake. I will try. Besides your one of my favorite to manipulate… so let's talk."

" What have you been doing the last few years?" Negan asked. " Not much. For a while, I lived out in the woods after Abrea kicked the bucket. Then I found my car and all the supplies that my father and I hid. Then I found a community that I lived at for awhile. I had to fight for them, they were afraid of me after. I left, went to Alexandria."

" Afraid of you. Did you save their life, I mean you are scary as shit. But you did them a solid selfish assholes."

" Yeah. But you've seen me in my zone. When I really get into the zone, it takes awhile for me to get out. They saw aside of me that they hadn't. It scared them." I said.

" What did they think you were some housewife that bakes cookies and shit. Or what?" Negan asked.

" Nah, nothing like that. I was there engineer, I taught them how to plant crops. How to fight, how to trade with other groups. Leader skills. I helped them pick out a leader. They were assholes and wanted me to leave."

" Now that we're done with our pleasantries, what are you hiding from me?" Negan asked.

" I'm hiding lot of things from you Negan." I walked over to the scotch and grabbed two glasses. I put them down on the table.

" Scotch?" I asked. He nodded. " There go those goddamn annoying as smoke screens again." He said.

I poured two glasses of scotch, I handed Negan one.

" Look Negan you can interrogate me as long as you want. But you know I don't break." I said.

" How about Rosita? Daryl? Rick? Carl? Do they break easy?" Negan asked. "How the hell am I supposed to know. Rosita, she's strong she rather die. Daryl, same goes for him. He's always thinking of someone else. Rick, he's strong… but he. He breaks easy. Carl, he's stronger and smarter than Rick. He ain't scared of shit."  
" Smokes screens… maybe I should drag Rosita down here. She might know what you're hiding." Negan said.

" Why do you care so much?" I asked. " Well. You might be hiding truck loads of food out there." " Wrong." I said. He was right. " You might be hiding truck loads of guns out there." " Wrong." I said. He was right. "There might be another community thats working with Alexandria that I don't know about. Maybe one that I also get goods from... "

I smiled. " No. I don't know any. But if I did, I wouldn't tell you. Taking that to my grave." I said.

" Okay… then what the hell is it?" He asked. I stood up. He stood up as well. He backed me into a wall. I hit the wall hard.

His eyes stared deep into mine. One thing I know about Negan is that he never back down. But I know one thing, I was half past drunk and ready to kick some ass. So I wasn't back down anyway.

" DON'T! THINK ABOUT IT!" Negan yelled, but quickly lowered his voice. He knew what I was thinking. I was thinking to punch him in the goddamn face. " I bet that whatever it is, probably is important. So unless you want me to choose someone you really care about to die. Then I would choose wisely." I pushed Negan off of me.

" Don't you ever, ever! Do that to me again!" I yelled. " Okay then. You chose. Your mexican friend will die! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT! HuH! DO YOU WANT TO SEE HER GODDAMN BRAINS ALL OVER THE GODDAMN GROUND! CUZ DON'T THINK I WON'T." He had his glove hand on the doorknob. With Lucille in his free hand. Pointing it at me. Every time he got pissed.

" YOU WANT TO KNOW SO BAD NEGAN! WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M DIFFERENT! WANT TO KNOW WHAT I'M HIDING!" I yelled. Negan was pissed, but I knew he wanted to know.

Without letting him answer. " I WAS FREAKING PREGNANT! OKAY!" I yelled. I kicked my chair over that I was seating in earlier. Then I punched one of the cabinet doors in. Negan stood with his hand on the doorknob speechless as I pulled my hand out of the wreckage that once was. My left hand might of been broken since I was bleeding badly. I fell to the floor. Broken, not crying but hurt that Negan made me say it. I sat and stared at the floor, not knowing what else to say.

He walked over to me and kneeled down to my eye level. " What the hell happened to the baby?"

" He got sick." I whispered. " He? Was he mine?" I kept my eyes on the ground, but looked up once to look deep into his eyes.

" You know damn well he was Negan." I said. " What was his name?" Negan asked.

I took deep breath. " Negan. His name was Negan." I said. " Well shit. Is that why you left?"

" Partly, this was no place to raise a child. And your not a fit enough father, he say something wrong to you. You might of him with Lucille. Or he would pick up your foul mouth. All the other wives would try to mother him and there was no way in hell I was going to do that."

Negan grabbed my hurt hand and stroked it with his none glove hand. " You out there by yourself. With my son. Must of been a hell of a burden on you. Taking care of Abrea, Negan jr, yourself… c'mon. I'll take you to Doc Carson."

" No. Please. Please just leave me alone. I can take care of myself." He let go of my hand and grabbed my chin. He lifted my head up so I would look at him, but I still looked away.

" Damn Aj. Look at me!" He said. I turned my head. " What!" I yelled sternly. " You are alive and son-. OUR son! He is gone. There is nothing you can do to bring him back. I know you hate hearing this. And I know I hate knowing I could've done something, but that's just how it is. We all got other shit to deal with."

That was it that was my last goddamn straw. He pushed me to goddamn far. He crossed the goddamn line. I stood the hell up, and so did he. I looked him deep in the eyes with a look he had never seen before from me. I was pissed. I grabbed my his collar and dragged him towards the door. I swung the door open and threw him out. He dropped lucille right by me and I chucked it at his head, but he ducked. He was on the ground when I slammed the door and locked it. I saw about three guards by my door. So I pushed the kitchen table, and the nightstands against the door.

I turned the stereo on all the way up, and the CD that just happened to be in there was an oldie but a goodie. The speakers screamed:

I'm knock knock knockin on heavens door. Hey hey yeah. Cuz I'm knock knockin on heavens door.

I sat on the floor and stared at the wall while Negan's people tried to break down the door. Negan was trying to scream over the music. I pulled my gun out. I checked to see if it was loaded. It was. I put the gun to my head and whispered:

" I'm coming Dad. I'm coming Negan JR." Still no tear in my eye, just a smile on my face.

Chapter fithteen

Loyal soldier

I was just newly into being Negan's "bodyguard". I was use to being woken up at anytime of the night before. But being Negan's "bodyguard" is a little more demanding.

I woke up at about two in the morning to a walkie talkie call. Abrea was fast asleep. A goddamn hurricane can't even wake that girl.

Walkie: " Hey Aj. We got some issues with redirect." I sat my fat ass up against the backboard. I picked up the walkie. " Simon that you." I didn't wait for a response. " What the hells wrong with redirect?"

" A huge herds coming towards The Sanctuary. I'm not sure who the hell screwed the goddamn thing up but it's a big problem."

" How big is the herd? About 100 or what? Talk to me Simon." I held the walkie under my chin as I pulled my shirt on. I pulled my hair into a pony and put my shoes on. I found my gun put it in it's holster. I found my knife and clipped int onto my belt. I put my American hat on backwards like I always did. Because America is SOL.

Walkie: " No Aj. The problem is a bit bigger I'm afraid. About 1000, maybe more."

" Shit! Shit! Shit! I need to wake up the big guy! Simon, you here at the Sanctuary. Or you out there?" I asked.

" I'm out here. I'll update you as often as you can." Simon said. " Okay. Can you tell me how far away those dead assholes are?"

" Yeah, bout an hour. Maybe hour and a half." Simon said. " Shit! Okay. Update me when you can. I got to wake up Negan!" I clipped my walkie onto my belt. I swung open my apartment door and ran down the hall. I probably woke a lot of people up. There were guards all over, but they knew I'm usually a calm person… unless I was pissed, but they saw a whole different look on my face. Worry. I swung open a door that wasn't Negan's but it was connected to Negan's room. I ran across the room and pounded on the door. Negan opened the door, I knew he wasn't sleeping. He was doing the dirty with one of his wives.

" What the hell is your problem? I can't get some goddamn rest around here. What the fu-" Negan stopped what he was saying just as he realized it was me. He had a white t-shirt on and a pair of green jeans.

" Whats going on?" Negan asked. " Someone screwed up on redirect duty. Simon just walked me. It doesn't look good. Bout 1,000 maybe 2,000 dead ones heading this way. You have about twenty men out there."

" Shit! I'm going to have someone's head for this." Negan said. Simon walkied me: " Aj. I was wrong another group of dead ones must of gathered with them or something. There are about 3,000 now."

I Grabbed my walkie from my belt. Negan leaned his body in the doorway. He didn't look to concerned just pissed.

" What the hell? I swear the God if I find out who screwed up. You know what I'll save my anger for later. Give me an update! How far? Still an hour and a half?"

" No Aj. There about an hour and fifteen minutes away." " Shit!" I yelled into the walkie talkie. Negan smiled at me. He saw the wheels turning in my brain.

" Okay Negan I got a plan. You gotta trust me. Stay here, don't worry I got it covered."

I started backing up with walkie talkie still in hand pointing it at him. Getting ready to run again. " Relax. Put your feet up. I'll fix this shit." I ran out the door. I started running down the hall. I told all the guards my plan. Two soldiers that I did not know followed me outside. We killed the dead ones on the fence. I turned off all out side lights and got everyone inside. With help I locked down The Sanctuary. I managed to make everyone to turn off there lights, and shut their mouths. They needed to be quiet for a few hours. Sleep read, just to keep there goddamn mouths shut. Finally I hauled ass into my room to grab my snipper, to get a better look at the herd that would be going by soon.

When I got into my room Negan was sitting on my unmade bed while Abrea was still sleeping. His leather jacket was on and his baseball bat was in his left gloved hand.

" Why aren't you in your room with your goddamn wife. I got shit to do and I can't babysit you." I said.

Negan smiled. " Sit." Negan's said sternly. Pointing at a chair in front of him. " Sorry, but like I said I got shit to do." I was breathing hard. I swung open a cabinet open and grabbed two glasses. I poured myself some scotch and I poured Negan a glass as well.

I handed it to him. I chugged my glass and got onto my walkie talkie. " Simon. Update me what we got?"

" There about eight minutes away. There coming in hot." Simon said. " Did you light them on fire?" Negan laughed. But I was taking it seriously.

" What? No? What's wrong with you dumbass?" Simon asked. " Well I'm half past drunk and ready to kick some ass… also I've lit walkers on fire before."

I put the walkie back on my belt and ran over to my dresser draw. I pulled my shirt off and put on another one. Negan was starring.

I turned around. " What? You've already seen my scars." I said. " Your curves. Your body is gorgeous. You have abbs and everything."

I gave him a weird look. " Thankyou?" I walked over to Negan my snipper was right by him. My sniper was on the ground next to him. I only imagine that he was the one who put it there. It was half under my bed. I knelt down next to Negan and I tilted my head Negan's way mistakingly. I was trying to reach my gun, but before I could Negan leaned down and kissed me. I pulled away before anything else happened.

" Wow! No, no, no." I shook my head, I grabbed my gun and went out into the hall.

I was wide eyed. I opened up a window and put my sniper halfway out. I put my snippers stand up. My walkie was also put up on the window seal. I was knelt down again looking out the scope.

" Five minutes away." Simon says. I picked up the walkie. " Okay Simon. We're ready. Everythings locked down here."  
Negan walked out of my room after I put my walkie down. He leaned against a wall that was next to the window that I had my snipper hanging out of.

" Negan. Go back inside. I don't want to be accountable if something happens to your dumbass."

" What could possibly happen?" Negan asked with a grin on his face. Still looking in the scope. " I might knock your ass out if you keep bothering me."

" There's that Fire! So that's what I felt when we kissed." Negan said. " Well your the only one that felt something."

" You seemed a little flustered so it couldn't of been that bad… unless you were flustered because you've never done that before."

I looked away from the scope and up at Negan. I gave him a deep stare. My hand was still on the gun.

" Yeah so. I haven't what's the big deal?" I asked. " Your a smoking hot girl and one badass bitch that could get whatever she wants. And your telling me you haven't had sex before?"  
"WOW! Don't say it so loud. In fact don't say it at all." I said. " What you don't like hearing the word sex?"

" How old do you think I am?" I asked. " 21? Maybe 22?" Negan asked. " Hell no! I'm way younger than that."

" How old?" Negan asked. I thought, then I lied. "18." THinking Negan wouldn't hire a child soldier.

" Damn? No shit?" I looked back into my scope. " Shit. There they are!" I whispered.

" You look really hot when you're holding that thing." Negan said with a little smile.

" Oh gee. Thanks a lot… it really looks like we're going to have a productive day." I said sarcastically. I picked up my gun and walkie and went into my room, Negan followed.

" Don't you have somewhere better to be. Because I'm surprised I haven't punched you for your colorful comments."

" Hey you woke me up remember?" Negan said. " We both know damn well you weren't sleeping." He shut the door behind him. I put my sniper up against my nightstand. I put my walkie talkie on the nightstand as well, and I took my gun and knife out of three holster and put them all on the nightstand. I flopped down on my bed, I turned my hat forwards and put it over my eyes.

" What am I supposed to do? Watch you sleep." Negan asked. I stayed silent for a second. MY eyes stayed shut. " Sit down and shut the hell up."

" You are an asshole." Negan said. " If you don't like it, get the hell out. Besides you have to be an asshole to be able to deal with an asshole." I said with a smirk.

He sat in a kitchen chair watching me catch some Z's. " I don't let people talk to me the way you talk to me… but you are my one exception because you call me out. You say it the way you see it. I need someone like that. I need someone like you who is just a big asshole like me. I need someone like you to stay around. But you do need to watch your step."

" Can I be brutally honest with you?" I asked. " Sure. Shoot… don't actually shoot."

" Okay…. Ready for it?" He nodded. " You need to shut the hell up before I beat your ass. Cuz I ain't in no mood. When I'm tired, I don't want to deal with your ass, I just whoop your ass."

" Fair enough." Abrea was still asleep not aware of anything that has and is going on.

I was almost asleep before I heard a gunshot that came from down stairs. I jumped up same as Negan. I grabbed my gun out of my holster and opened my door to start walking down the hall when I noticed most of the walkers were gone. But The last 100 or so most of heard the gone shot. I walked down the hall Negan behind me.

" Negan." I whispered in the dark. I could only make out his talk muscular figure in the dark, but I knew his eyes were on me. We walker over to the window where the moon shines on us.

" Negan you need to go back and wait in my apartment." I said. " No. I'm the leader of this goddamn community and I sure as hell ain't taking orders from you sweetheart."  
" Please Negan." I said. Saying it as sincere as possible. He looked deep into my eyes. " Fine on one condition… I get to kiss you again."  
" Look dumbass… I don't think you get it. I'm trying to save you life. What happens if we go down there and someone tries to shoot you. How are you going to protect yourself? With your goddamn baseball bat. I think not!" I said.

" Well I guess I'll just have to protect myself from bullets with LUCILLE then."

" I'm your bodyguard Negan. I'm here to protect you. Not to have romantic relations with you… you have wives for that." I said.

He just smirked and stood there. " Damn it Negan!" I grabbed him by the back of his head and violently started kissing him. I made sure to be the dominant one. So I decided how soon I would stop the kissing. It was just a few violent kissing seconds, but it felt like I was kissing a shark or something. After he just smiled.

" Go into my apartment. I'll have to deal with this." I said I ran down the stairs with my gun drawn just to find another rogue worker with a gun pointed at the guards and soldiers. There was one on the floor with a gunshot wound to the head. I came up behind the rogue worker silently and put him in a choke hold. Only enough for him to fall asleep. The guards dragged him off and put him in a cell.

I ran back upstairs because I needed to update Simon. Dawn was breaking. Walkers were still at the fence. A lot of walkers. Negan was sitting at my kitchen table with Abrea. He made breakfast. So we could be one small dysfunctional family. I grabbed my walkie.

" Simon you there?" I asked. " 10/4 are all the walkers gone on your end?" Simon asked.

" No. Some dumbass worker went rogue and fired a gun. Shot and killed a soldier. There are about a hundred walkers left. Once the larger group gets far enough away, my plan is to kill them. Hopefully before they break down the fence"

" Alright. My groups getting restless. They want to go and get some sleep there hungry as well. Kill them soon."

"Roger that. I'll do my best Sims. Over and out smokey." I said. Negan chuckled.

" Aj. Come sit down and eat with us. I made breakfast." Negan said. " I didn't know it took me that long to take that guy out and finish what I had to down there."

" It took you a good 45 minutes." Abrea said. " When the hell did your lazy ass get up?" I asked.

She stuck her tongue out at me. " Pissy much?" she said. " you try having two hours of sleep for three days." I said.

" Girls. Girls. Can we please eat are meal in peace." Negan asked. " yeah sure Negan. But I got to go help kill the dead ones. I can't eat much." I said.

" So Aj?" Negan asked. " Tell me about yourself." Negan said. " Well there's not much to tell. My dad was a marine. Trained me to be one, taught me how to rebuild cars, a few things about medical, survival skills, I know a few languages. I can fix just about anything… that's it. That's who I am."

" Cars. Damn, your starting to become an asset. I might keep you around for awhile." Negan said.

I stood up and walked over to my go bag and took out my bowie knife. I picked up my sniper from leaning against the nightstand. And grabbed my walkie to clip it on my belt.

" Abrea. We need to talk. Out in the hall… excuse us Negan." Negan had his stink eye fixed on me thinking I got some shit planned.

I pushed Abrea out into the hall and shut the door behind me. We walked down aways so Negan couldn't hear us.

" Abrea! Listen to me. Do not be left alone with Negan again. Promise me that you will stay away from him."

" Why what happened?" Abrea asked. " Nothing. Not yet, but that asshole has something planned. He will use you against me."

" Not everything is about you, you know that right? What if I want to talk to him, or he wants to talk to me." She said.

" Look you little shithead. I'm Negan's bodyguard. I'm his best shot, best soldier by far. He's got something more planned. He might hurt you to get to me. And if I happen to find out you were ever talking to Negan unless its work related, believe me your going to wish you were dead."

" And your true colors are shown. A selfish bitch. That's all ya are." Abrea said. I smiled. " I told you what I was a long time ago… I have to go kill the dead ones on the fence so you can go on your goddamn run. Got to get Simon and his people back in."

" What am I supposed to do for the time being. Negan's is in our apartment." Abrea asked.

" I don't know. Don't you have any other friends you can play with?" I asked. I started off as walking then I broke out into a full sprint. I collected some soldiers and took them to clear the fence. By the time I was done, I was covered in blood and so was everybody else. I went back to my apartment only to find Negan gone and Abrea packing up to leave.

" My group leaves in a half an hour." Abrea said. " Give me a second." Walkie-talkie: " Hey Aj? Got that shit done yet?"  
" Yeah Simon, just finished. But be cautious. Over." I said. " It's about damn time."

" Did you find out who screwed up redirect duty. " I asked. " No. Not yet. But when I do I'm gonna kick the shit out of him."

" Damn straight. I'll do it myself if I have too." I said. " Alright I'll figure out who it is. I'll get back to ya. Over."

I threw my walkie on the bed. Dead tired, from only getting a few hours asleep.

" Aj...this run is going to be about a week. I didn't mention it to you because I know you hate when I go on long runs."

" You hate it when I go on long runs to, but I still tell you about when I find out... no matter. Just come back safe, I don't want someone telling me that your dumbass got bit or some shit." I said as I layed down on my bed while closing my eyes.

Someone knocked on the door Abrea answered it. It was one of her running buddies.

" Ah shit. I gotta leave early Aj." I got up and Abrea embraced me in a hug. " Be careful. Be alert. Be ready at any moment. And if you think for one second something bads gonna happen. You get out… you hear. Leave them behind. Run away. Never come back. I'll find you."  
" How do you expect me to do that if you never leave anybody behind?" Abrea asked.

" Cuz I'm a goddamn Marine, I live by a goddamn code. Just because I do, doesn't mean you have too. Now go on dumbass. I'll see you in week." I said.

" See ya bitch." Abrea said. I smiled I guess I rubbed off on her. I layed down on my bed. Closed my eyes for a few minutes and then sure enough over the walkie:

" Aj. This is Simon, just got back. But I figured out who screwed up on redirect duty."

I grabbed my walkie that was is bed with me. I was still laying down with my eyes closed as I answered.

" Who is it?" I asked. " Jimmy so dimmy. Negan's gonna have a hay day when he finds out it was him." Simon said.

" Where are you?" I asked. " Courtyard." I thought for a second and sat up. " Can you get Jimmy so dimmy for me? Bring him out into the courtyard. I'll bring Negan down."

" Yeah I can do that." Simon said. " Awesome you'll get full credit for figuring out who it was. And promise not to kick the shit of him too bad." I said.

" Thanks Aj. And I'll try to keep the boys off of him. Over." Hopefully I thought to myself that would be the last time for the day that I hear Simon's voice saying my name. I put the walkie on my belt.

I went to Negan's quarters and knocked on the door. He didn't answer it, he just yelled " come in." I left the door open a little bit with my hand on the door knob, barely inside. He was sitting in a fancy as comfortable looking chair with papers in his hand. Paper work? At the goddamn end of the world? Damn, dedicated much.

" Simon found out who screwed up on redirect. I told him to find him and take him out into the courtyard for you to deal with him."

Negan completely disregarded what I said. He was staring at me the whole time so I thought he was listening. But you know Negan." Sit."

" No I really can't I have to deal with this shithead, so I can finally get some sleep."

Negan stood up from his chair and threw his paperwork on the floor. " When was the last time you got a full eight hours?" Negan asked.

" Few days ago. I don't really know. I can't remember." I said. Negan was in the middle of the room then started slowly walked towards me. Walkie: " Okay Aj. Found the bastard trying to get away. Guess he figured he's the one who screwed up. Meet you in the courtyard in five?" Simon asked.

Negan walked over to me and grabbed the walkie talkie out of my hands. " Simon. I'm gonna let you handle this one."

" Negan? Are you sure?" Simon asked. " Yes I'm goddamn sure. Aj and I have to have a little chat. Take it away." Negan clipped the walkie back to my belt. He took my hand off the doorknob and shut the door. I was trapped in between the door and Negan. Usually if a guy would pull this shit on me I would knock his teeth out, but since it was Negan I figured I could handle it.

" So I found out something interesting about you." Negan said. " yeah and what's that?"

His face was close to mine. " You still hate me, you don't trust me. I have a problem with people that don't trust me."

" Well maybe if you didn't do the shit you do. I would trust you, but you got some shady shit planned. I can see right through your charming ways." I said.

" I thought we were getting somewhere. Getting to build a great friendship." Negan said.

" That's what I thought too. Until you kissed me. Twice." I said. " You got to get over that shit. Afraid of shit like that."

I pushed him off of me. " I'm a soldier. I was raised for that purpose ONLY! I hate being touched… so no more touchy touchy. Capeesh?"

" Okay, but it's gonna be hard to resist… your badassness is hot and you have a six pack. I can't say I ever met a chick with a six pack." Negan said.

I put my hand on the doorknob. I whispered under my breath. " You probably haven't seen a girl with this many scars." I meant it for myself, but Negan heard it.

" Goddamn where those scars like no other. Your confident, they carved you into this person. Don't you ever listen to people who say they are ugly. Because my darling they are beautiful. Your father had no right-"

I cut him off. "DON'T! Don't talk about my father. Please." She asked. " Okay Aj… you and I have a special bond. You might not see it, but I know you will. You would of killed me along time ago if you hated me. If you didn't trust me, then you wouldn't of came in my room alone."

" What the hell is that supposed to mean? I came in here because I ain't afraid of shit. And I sure as hell ain't afraid of a leather jacket baseball ball swinging maniac."

" I like them feisty, but be careful my darling." I sighed. " Look. Negan. We can joke around. Sexual jokes are welcome, but NO ToUCHY TOUCHY."  
" Thats fair enough." Negan said. I walked out. THinking I one the battle, but damn I didn't know if I was going to win the war.

Chapter sixteen

Put the gun to my head and pull the trigger

" Negan. It's all over for me! Abrea's dead, you have a hold of Alexandria, I lost my child. My father's not here… I'm alone."

" OUT!" He screamed and pointed at the three men standing in the doorway. As soon as the men Negan sat me down on the bed, he sat next to me.

" What about me." Negan whispered. " What about us. I never gave up looking for you. The fact is, your all I got."

" Thats a lie. You've got this place and many others. You have your wives. You killed all the people I cared about."

" Daryl's not dead, Rosita's not dead, hell I'm not dead." Negan said with a chuckle.

" Well I don't care about you." I said sharply. He wasn't smiling when I said it, for a moment he look hurt. But he quickly gave me a dark grin. He leaned to whisper my ear.

" Wow! I almost believed you." He leaned into kiss me, but I backed away. " Fine have it your way. Wanna play hard to get, play hard to get. I live it anyway."  
" No you don't. You like all your women one way and one way only. Easy." I said. " Not all of them. You were a goddamn challenge."

" Will you leave me alone now?" I asked. " NO!" He stood up from the bed and towered over me. I got up from the bed and right into his face.

" Why the hell not? Because I tried to kill myself. Last time I checked it wasn't your goddamn decision." I said. I pushed Negan back.

I was being so emotional and girly, it was out of character for me. I was struggling to even find my way back to my toughness. I did nethertheless.

Negan backed me into a wall and kissed me, I kissed back. " Dickhead." I said as I pushed him off of me.

" Was it that bad?" He asked. " It felt like there was a goddamn worm in my mouth. Jesus Christ." I lied. He chuckled, " keep telling yourself that."

" Negan. You don't trust me. I get that. It will take awhile for you to trust me, but I got other people to think about… Daryl, Rick, Carl, Maggie." I said.

" Who the hell is Maggie… oh right the sick girl." Negan said. " You don't have to worry about her anymore. She gone!"

" She's dead! What the hell did you do to her." I punched Negan in the face. He stumble backwards.

He stood up and rubbed his thumb across his mouth realizing he had a bloody lip. He laughed it off.

" She's back! Goddamn it she's back." Negan said." Do you want me to punch you again. Tell me what the hell you did to Maggie. Did you kill her like Glenn, Abraham?" I asked.

" If you must know. No! I didn't kill her. It was too stressful for the poor girl. I was gonna ask her to come back with me. To become my wife, but you know. Then you showed up. And I'm like this must be my lucky day."

" You have people against me, but if it was my choice I'd rather sit in the cell. Or not be here at all." I said.

" It was your choice my darling. You chose to save your friends. Because your a Marine. Loyal to a fault. I tried shaping you into MY Marine. But it didn't work the first time. This time it is going to work, because if it doesn't then it will be your friends paying the price. You don't want that guilt."  
I syed and rolled my eyes. " Whatever Negan." I said. " I wasn't going to do this, but since you threw me out of your room, tried to kill yourself, punched me. I think you need some time in a cell."

I smiled. " And the monster shows his true colors. Once a dick always a dick… but you know what they say right?" I asked. He shook his head.

" You are what you eat." I said. His dark smile faded. " Bitch." He said. " Prick."

" Hoe." He saw the sadistic look in my eye and realized he just made a mistake. " Oh hell nah! You stupid ass bitch. I'll beat your ass you dumbass punk. You stupid ass shit goddamn coward baseball bat swinging pussy. I'll tie your ugly ass to a goddamn flag pull. Upside down. I will snap that stupid ass bitch Lucille right in front of yours eyes."

I crossed a line there. I don't know when I crossed it, but I saw the sadistic look in his eyes.

I was thrown in my old cell, it felt like home. God knows how long I would be in there. He will figure out some way to make me come out of that dumbass cell. Probably use Daryl against me. But I suppose I'd be in the cell for about a month.

Chapter seventeen

Silent

Seven days later there was no sign of Abrea and Negan hadn't talked to me since our run in. I wondered if Abrea told him what I said, but I was supposed to trust her. I was supposed to trust Negan too, hell I was supposed to trust my father back in the day... he had my back, but he was also the one who put scars on my back.

Negan hadn't needed me that week and I was relieved. And whenever we saw each other we went the other way. No one else needed me that week either, all was silent at The Sanctuary. For once. I took a couple shifts for the watch tower.

The night Abrea come back I decided to take the night shift. I wasn't taking my goddamn eye off of that goddamn sniper until she came in. My hat was on backwards kneeling while looking through my scope. There were times when I took my eyes off the scope but I didn't take my eyes off the fence. When it started to get really late I made myself comfortable realizing her group never goes anywhere in the dark.

I was leaning against a wall watching with my sniper in hand, when I heard someone coming up the stairs of the watchtower. The door swung open and surprise surprise. Asshole Negan!

I kept my eyes outside and a tight grip on MY sniper. Negan sat down in a chair behind me. My eyes never met his, I was just as silent as the night. Negan kept his eyes on me, but my eyes were concentrated on outside.

" I'm gonna clear the goddamn air right now. I've upsetted you, I sometimes forget that you have feelings. Because you know… your kinda cold… but anywho I'm sorry that I was insensitive." Negan said.

" Shut the hell up!" I said. " Shit, I apologized and I am not good at that shit. Asshole."

I still kept my eyes out staring into the night. " You stupid dumbass I'm not 'upset' with you. Jesus. I don't get upset. Now shut the hell up about it, we're cool." I said.

He got up down from his chair and walked over to me. He looked me in the eyes.

" Are we cool Aj. Cuz every time you see me you seem to walk the other way." Negan said.

I smiled. " You are aware I'm holding a gun right?" " I'm not gonna lie, the thought did cross my mind… you scare the living shit out of me."

" Aww. Thankyou." Negan laughed. He went back to silence Negan had his back to the wall next to the window.

" Why were you avoiding me this week, if we're cool?" Negan asked. " You were avoiding me first asshole."

" You picked up on that? Damn, now I feel like a jackass." Negan said. " Good, I don't give two shits why YOU decided to avoid ME!"

" I got some shit to do tomorrow and I need you to go with me." Negan said. " Yeah. I'm still your bodyguard Negan. I got it covered."

" Abrea? She's supposed to be back to night ain't she?" Negan asked. I looked away from the window for a second. " Yeah."

" You worried about her?" I stared into Negan's dark brown eyes. " No." I said. He looked at me like he didn't believe a goddamn word that I was saying. " She's gonna be fine. They probably will come back tomorrow. You know how those runners are. They find a new place and sweep it…"

" Thanks, but I trust Abrea. She'll get out just fine." I said. " Do you trust Abrea though? It doesn't seem like it. You wouldn't of taken the night shift if you did."

" Why in the hell do you care? Yeah maybe I don't trust her, she's still just a kid. How can I trust her? She would sell me out in a second. Not like it's any of your goddamn business."

" Your right. It's not any of my business, but you happen to be my shot. My best fighter, and if you don't get enough sleep. You could make a mistake."

My eyes were no longer watching out the window. They were fixed on him, fully pissed off.

" I do not make mistakes. Mistakes get people killed and I have gone full weeks without needing sleep. I've gone a few days." I said while my eyes were staring into his.

Negan cracked a smile. " Okay. I believe you… but you need to get some goddamn sleep. You look like shit."

" I'll get some sleep after I get off my shift." I said. " You look cold." Negan approached me, it was rather a cold night and I was freezing. He could tell. He grabbed my gun and sat it down on the window ledge.

" Well I'm not cold. I'm fine." He smiled. " Honey, I have five wives. Do you really think I don't what know fine means."

" Don't call me honey dickhead. I'm really fine, I've been through worse." I said. His smile faded.

He grabbed my hands. " What the hell did I just tell you a week ago. Huh? No touchy touchy. Damn it you never listen." I tried to pull my hands away, but his grip was tight. " Your hands are freezing. Damn your cold… come here."

His leather jacket was already unzipped. He pulled me close to him into a hug. I was tense, I didn't wrap my body around him like he did. He seemed like he was out of character. I seemed like I was out of character. We were being so nice to each other, being emotional. That word is not usually in my dictionary.

" Relax. I don't bite. Don't be so tense." Negan said. He let go of me and put my hands on his back under his leather jacket. He embraced me once more, I relaxed not much. My head rested on his chest and his head rested on my head.

" Why? Why in the hell are you doing this?" I asked. " Doing what?" Negan asked.

" Being a dick for a week then doing this shit. I never asked for this. I mean what the hell. Your being nice to me."

" When I first met you, I saw the pain in your eyes. I also saw the confidence and the strength. It scared me. I didn't know where the pain came from since you weren't scared of me… I wondered for all the months you were here. Then I saw those scars, I realized where the pain came from. You have intrigued me from the start, you have balls, confidence. I needed you. As did everyone else...you are a goddamn asset to this place whether you like it or not."

I Swallowed hard, I just wanted him to stop being so mushy. My head rested back on his chest and he didn't say another word. He pulled away from me lifted my head up and leaned in. Luckily my walkie went off. I let go of Negan.

" Aj we need you NOW! Hostage situation." I grabbed my walkie, but Negan took it out of my hand.

" Damn it Negan, this is no time to play games." I said. " Calm down, probably just a worker with a gun to one of my soldiers heads." Negan said. He put my walkie by my gun. He pulled me in close again and kissed me, I kissed back. I couldn't believe I did. My heart was pounding are kiss seemed like it was never ending. We didn't come up for air until the walkie sounded off again.

" Aj! Are you out there we need you now! Your on the nightshift I get that, but we need you. One of Negan's wives was taken hostage."

Negan looked at me with pissed off eyes. I picked up the walkie talkie out of breath Negan grabbed it out my hands. " What the hell? Who? Which wife?" Negan asked.

" Negan? Marc has Amber." Simon said. I grabbed my sniper and walkie out of Negan's hands.

" Negan. Get somebody in the watch tower for me. For a bit. I got this. You can come, but you got to stay the hell out of my way." Negan and I parted. He went to find a random person to be in the watchtower. We met back up, in the workers sleeping quarters. Negan stood by me up above on a level higher up than the factory part was. Marc had Amber using her as a shield and his back was against a wall.

" Marc!" Negan yelled. " This isn't going to end well for your dumbass. So you either let her go. Or you die."

Amber screamed. " No! No! Don't kill him." Negan walked by me and whispered in my ear. " Shoot him." He walked down the stairs towards Marc.

I had Marc's head in my sites. I pulled the trigger Marc dropped. Amber screamed and his blood was all over her face.

Simon and Negan looked at me. " Nice shot." Simon said. " Thanks. It could've been better." I yelled down to him. I saw Negan pick Amber up from the ground he looked at me. Amber was pissed at him and me. She slapped Negan.

Simon asked Negan what to do with the body. " Burn it. Feed it to the walkers… just get that piece a shit out of here." That's when Amber slapped him. After the whole ordeal I went back up to the tower and relieved the guy who took my spot for a while.

The guy later that morning who was supposed to take my place at 4, didn't show up till 6:30. I went into my room and made some coffee. Knowing I didn't have much time to prepare. For the day.

I packed my shit up for the long day ahead. I poured myself a half cup of coffee and half whiskey. Someone knocked on my door. When I opened it, it was Simon.

" Nice place." He said as he was walking in. " What's up. Want some coffee?" I asked.

" Nah. Negan wanted me to talk to you. He said that your riding with me today."

" Damn. He's more emotional than me." I mumbled. Simon sat down in a chair. " You look like shit. Get any sleep last night?"

" No. The asshole who was supposed to relieve me at 4 didn't come till 6:30." I sat down in a chair across from him.

" I'm glad your riding with me today. Just incase shit hits the fan. My guys are too."  
" Why's that?' I asked " Your the best shot we got, fighter, you're loyal you have sense of humor. No one I rather ride with. Plus your smokin hot."

" Gee. Thanks." He went on. " Do you know how awful it is to work with someone who doesn't have a sense of humor."

" Did Negan put you up to this shit. You've never been this nice to me before. Its starting to feel like some horror movie or some shit."

" Nah, Negan didn't put me up to this. The guys were talking about you the other day. We're really grateful to have you here. It would of been a shame if Negan would of killed ya." Simon said.

" Thanks asshole." I said. " See sense of humor… are you ready. The trucks are up front."

" Yeah. My shits ready." I said. I grabbed my duffle bag and my go bag. My pistol was already in its holster, my walkie clipped on my belt, and same goes for my knife.

I handed Simon my duffle bag. " What the hell! Why do you need all this shit for?"

" My father always taught me to be prepared for the unexpected. Would you want to be trapped out there with no food. Or be caught in a hailstorm of bullets without bullets?"

Simon through my shit in the truck. I hopped in the back of the truck. Simon wanted me to ride up front mostly because he didn't want to get any shit from Negan. When Negan walked over to Simon while he was talking to one of his people. I was talking to guys in the back of the truck.

Negan walked to the back of the truck in search of me. He walked by, I didn't look at him. He looked at me. The trucks started to roll out.

The ride was about 2 hours. When the truck came to a halt, it was a community I have been to once before. We all called it Arkansas. Because you can marry your cousins there. Safe to say Arkansas the community is one weird ass place.

It was gorgeous there though. Nice small log cabins, the place was surrounded by big wooden walls. There gardens inside along with animals. Children.

When we walked through the gates some kids ran away others were curious. One girl in particular was watching me.

A tall ass redhead, even taller than Negan walked up to him. He had tattoos. On his arms. He was built. When he spoke he had an Irish accent, I just about melted. But I made sure I looked tough.

" Where's your leader?" Negan asked. " He's out. On a run." The Irish man said.

" Well I guess we'll just wait here." Negan said. " He's not coming back until tomorrow morning." You could see the anger in the man's eyes.

Negan looked away from him and looked back at me. He gave me a little smile.

" Don't be an asshole. Damn you are one big ass dude." I rolled my eyes. The Irish man broke his eye contact with Negan and walked over to me.

" Hello there… I'm Conor." He said. " And you are?" " Not interested." Negan cracked up laughing as well as everyone else. Besides Conor and I.

I lied to him, I was a little bit interested. But I have my appearance to keep up with. If I let the guys think that I'll let some random guy treat me like a piece a meat, then that's how they treat me.

Conor backed up a bit. " Okay. If you get interested I'll be around." He said. He bit his bottom lip and winked at me.

" Don't worry. I won't." Negan decided to set up camp for the night. There were only two emties houses and I did NOT want to be stuck in a house with Negan. I found a nice empty secluded spot, away from everyone to start a fire. I was upset that we didn't go back. I wanted to see if Abrea got back safe. I already ate my dinner and I was watching the fire dance with the wind. I was nervous and whenever I get nervous I sing. And I hardly ever get nervous, stupid human flaws.

' Sweet dreams are made of these, who am I to disagree I traveled the world and the seven seas everybody's looking for something.'

I didn't notice that Someone crept up behind me. " I didn't know that you sing." I noticed the deep raspy voice and when I did I was pissed.

The dark figure came into the fires light and sat down beside else but Negan.

" I don't." I said. " Well you just did. And it was beautiful damn it. You could of been a singer."

My face had no emotion and Negan was trying to read me. I stared at the fire.

I tried to stand up, but Negan grabbed my arm and pulled me back down. " Stay. We need to talk."

" Well I got shit to do." I said. " No you don't. I'm your damn boss." Negan said. " Then I guess I better file a complaint with HR." I cracked a smile and so did he. But it soon faded.

" We need to talk about what happened last night." Negan said. My smile faded. " Yeah sorry about that. I know Amber's probably pissed. And I would've taken a better shot if I had one." I know what he meant, I just didn't want to talk about it.

" Yeah Amber was pretty damn traumatised. It took her the whole night to calm the hell down. Marc was her ex, he was pissed off at her for having relations with me. I screwed his ex wife… but that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

" I guessed that. Don't worry, it meant nothing. Forget about it, we're cool." I said.

He smiled. " I… don't want it to mean nothing." I held my hand up to stop him from talking.

" Shut the hell up. It's not what you want, it's not all about you. Sometimes you forget that. You are the all mighty Negan, you need to start acting like that cold hearted son of a bitch again. Otherwise, we're going to have issues."

" I'll forget about it… get some sleep because you look like shit. Simon told me about that guy. I'll deal with him."

Negan got up and left. Thank god I thought to myself, the last thing I need is a goddamn relationship with the bastard that killed my father.

I went to bed it was cold so it took me awhile to fall asleep. When I woke up, my fire was reduced to ashes and had no sparks left. My walkie went off and I jumped up pulled my hair in a pony. I grabbed my shit and found Negan with a shot leg.

" What the hell happened?" I dropped my duffle bag. " Lover boy over here shot him in the leg." Simon pointed to the Irish guy. He was still alive. He winked at me.

" How come I didn't hear it?" I asked. " Silencer and you drank a lot last night." Negan said.

" Oh. You knew about that." I bent down and looked at the gunshot wound. " Alright, we have to take the bullet out his leg. Let's move him up to that porch." I pointed to the one that was the closet.

" Don't these Irish Arkansas hillbillies have medics here?" Negan asked. The Irish guy shook his head.

" We're fresh out. The last time you were here, you killed him." Negan was carefully set down on the porch. I ran down and grabbed my duffle bag. It doesn't just have bullets in it. It had some medical supplies in it too.

I grabbed my knife out of my duffle bag. It was a switchblade. I decided not to use the one I had in my belt loop.

" Wow! Can't I have someone else do it?" Negan asked. " Shut the hell up and stop being such a wuse… Jesus you act like you never been shot before." The Irish man laughed at that remark.

" Well I haven't damn it." I squeezed the sides of the switchblade so the blade would click open.

I started to dig around for the bullet. It didn't take me long to find and take it out. But Negan was swearing like a goddamn sailor he was cracking jokes the whole time.

When I took the last piece of the bullet out Negan said something that made me laugh. " That wouldn't happen to be your father's knife now would it." At first he just said it as a joke.

" Actually it is…" I put it close to his face. " So don't try anything." I winked at him and chuckled a dark chuckle that made him nervous.

I unbuttoned my shirt all I had underneath was a white tank top. I put pressure on the wound because it was still bleeding. He was staring at me, like he had never seen me so caring before.

" Alright. Now all I gotta do is patch it up… Simon, want to hand me my first aid kit that I have in my bag. It should be right on top."  
" Yeah." He found the kit in the bag and handed it to me. I put my knife back into my pants pocket.

I patched Negan up. " Alright. Simon get him back to The Sanctuary would ya."

" Yeah. We got to deal with Irish Arkansas and collect our shit first." Negan said.  
My southern accent kicked in which I usually try to hide, but every once in awhile I get mad and slip right back into it. " Ah hail nah. Simon's gettin ya ass back to The Sanctuary. I'll deal with this Irish dumbass."  
I think I scared him with my accent. " I never found out where your originally from."

" Iowa. But also Kentucky… just to be clear you do want me to kill that Irish dumbass right?"

" Yeah I would prefer it if ya did." Negan said. " That's waste." I mumbled to myself, but Negan heard it.

" On second thought I want to bring him back to The Sanctuary. On the account he didn't kill me and I want to torture him before I kill him."

" Okay. I'll wait here for the leader to return." Simon hauled Negan off and another guy hauled off Irish Arkansas away.

I waited for there fearless leader to return and took all the shit that they found. I decided to kill one person, he had a family. I didn't do it because I was directed to, I just needed Negan to trust me.

When we got back to The Sanctuary I was covered in blood, I had to change my shirt and go back out there to help the guys unload the shit that we got.  
Negan was in my room waiting for me. Right away I pointed my gun at him. He was sitting on my bed. I lowered my gun when I realized it was just Negan. I dropped my bags by the kitchen table.

" Easy now. I was already shot once today." Negan laughed. " What the hell. Shouldn't you being resting or something?" I asked.

I stood in the doorway. " I'm fine. The doc didn't even need to patch me up. You did a damn fine job… besides were you ever on bed rest when you got shot?"

" No, but your not me… what the hell do you want?" I asked. " Well, I don't want you to be too goddamn disappointed but Abrea's not back yet."

" Well shit. That's pretty goddamn disappointing to me. But she'll come back. Probably."

Negan and lucille leaned against my nightstand. I walked over to my dresser across the way. I pulled out a clean tank top and took off my bloodied one. I saw Negan staring at my scars.

" What? You've already seen my scars." I said. I pulled on the clean tanktop and put a jean jacket over top of it. I put my hat on backwards.

He disregarded my comment. " What're you doing tonight." Negan asked. " I'm getting drunk with Simon. Trying to see if he can hold his own. Doubt though such a pussy."  
" Are you and Simon a goddamn thing?" Negan's smile faded. " Why are you jealous?" I smiled.

I waited for a second. " No I'm not seeing Simon. He's only into skinny blond bitches that have nothing in there head. And I only like tall, funny, nice hair, baseball bat swinging, leather jacket wearing, maniacs." I winked and a smile crept back up his face.

My hand was on the doorknob ready to turn it. " I'm pretty goddamn sure that you just describe me."

" Maybe." I opened the door and went to help unload all the shit that we got. When I was finished Simon and I came back to my apartment to get drunk off our asses.

By about nine I already had drank two bottles of scotch, one bottle of tequila, a bottle of whiskey, two beers, and one bottle of vodka. Simon only had one bottle of tequila and was passed out on my floor by nine.

I snuck out and decided to have some fun. I found a spinney chair and rolled down the hallway for a while, but when I got bored I found a toat and road down the stairs in it. For a while I went outside and cussed at the walkers that's when my fun started to come to an end. The watchtower guard called people from the inside to come and get me, but we played hide and seek. They couldn't find me on the roof, so I went back to sliding down the stairs again. Negan had to wake up, just to find my ass having a blast. Running around the Sanctuary, so I decided I didn't want my fun to end. I played hide and seek with Negan.

I hid in the one place I knew there was no way in hell he could find me. Under his bed. Silently I stayed under trying to keep myself from laughing.

Next thing I know the door swings open Negan pissed, he grabs his walkie. " I don't like waking you guys up, hell I don't like waking up. But we have a drunken Aj out there. She is armed and dangerous. She might shoot you in the goddamn foot. Or I don't know, play hide and seek or some shit. Just find the drunken idiot and y'all can go back to bed."

I tried to keep myself from laughing, but I couldn't. Negan heard me, I wasn't surprised I sounded like a dying cow.

"What the hell?" He grabbed his walkie again still standing a distance from the bed. " Never mind y'all I found the drunken idiot."  
Negan crouched down to see under the bed. " Aj, get your ass out here. You stupid shit." Negan suppress a smile, but damn I knew it was hard.

I got out from under the bed. " Okay fine, you found me. But I seek you hide." I walked towards the door, but Negan caught me.

" Sit." He pushed me into a chair, he sat on the bed. " Damn, you look like shit. Like really shitty."  
" I wonder the hell why? Your drunken ass doing stupid shit tonight… where the hell is Simon wasn't he supposed to watch your stupid ass?"

" Currently he is passed out on my floor. One bottle of tequila, such a pussy." I chuckled. Negan couldn't suppress his smile anymore. He just stared at me.

" What?" I asked staring back. " You just look like your having so much damn fun for once."  
" I'm having the time of my goddamn life… I was never meant for the goddamn world before, but this one I am."

" Yeah. I wasn't either…" He syed. " What the hell am I going to do with you? I can't let you go back to your room with drunken idiot two."

I walked over to him and sat by him. " Negan I'm going to be 100 with you right now. I really like you. Like a lot. I just didn't want you to think I did since I can't do feelings. Hell I just couldn't do it since you need to be the all mighty Negan and I need to be Aj. It wouldn't stop me from doing my job, it would just stop me from being okay. You know what I mean? I would start to care about you, and I can't do that… what I'm trying to say is you woke up an emotion in me. I think it was happiness. I don't. But it felt like I was sleeping for my whole life until we kissed that night in the watchtower."

" Well I wish I could say the same goddamn thing, but I feel nothing for you." He cracked a smile.

When I get drunk I can't take a joke. " Well shit. This is pretty goddamn embarrassing. I'm just gonna go back to my room and hope to God I drink enough to pass out." I stood up from the bed but Negan grabbed my arm and pulled me back down.

" I was kidding." He whispered. He pulled me closer to him and kissed me. I fell back onto the bed. He towered over me.

" Say stop. I'll stop, but ya gotta mean it… are you sure you wanna do this?" Negan asked.

" Yes." I whispered.

Chapter eighteen

The Iron

I didn't get any sleep in my cell. Not a surprise I never get any sleep. I sat up as the metal door creaked open.

" Simon? I figured you be dead by now." I smiled. " I thought the same goddamn thing of you. I really thought when you threw Negan out of your room last night you were going to die." He leaned in the doorway.

" Nah, he loves me too much." We shared a laugh. " He loves you a lot. Yeah. Your probably about the only person that frustrates him as much as you do and you haven't wound up dead yet."  
" So… did that asshole send you down here for something?" I asked. " No… I wanted to talk about what happened last night."  
" And what exactly do you think happened last night Simon." I gave a little smile, just making sure he knows that I can still knock him on his ass.

" You tried to kill yourself. That's a new one from you… but in all fairness it looks like you haven't slept in a goddamn week."

" Yeah. I haven't." I said. " You know if you just say the word Negan will take you out of here. It doesn't have to be so damn dramatic. Only doing it for someone else or when you have too." Simon said.

" I don't need to do it for myself… so I won't. I have people to think of. My group my home, my family."  
" Your group, your family, your home has ALWAYS been here. Don't forget that. Don't forget that you started out here."  
" Damn it Simon. You don't think I know that? I have to stay in here because I owe Rick and Daryl. I'm thinking of someone else."

" So how long do you think your gonna hold out?" Simon asked. " Well as long as Negan doesn't use Daryl against me."  
" Hopefully he will soon. I enjoy riding with you. He'll take care of you. You know that."

" Negan. He only takes care of himself. He only takes care of the people here when he wants something."

Out of nowhere Negan showed up by Simon. " Hey Simon! This bitch talking shit about me. Wouldn't be surprised."  
" Go to hell Negan. We all know your the ruler of it." At this comment Negan chuckled darkly.

" Lets go sweetheart. I have something to show you." Simon walked away just leaving Negan and I to talk.

" No. I think I'm good right where I am." I smiled. Negan crouched down with Lucille in hand.

" No… I really think you want to see this. It happens to involve your lover boy Daryl."

" Oh hell nah. What the mother dick did you do to him." The flames in my eyes grew higher.

" I didn't do shit yet." He smiled and reached his hand out to help me up. I grabbed his hand.

" The perfect gentlemen. Laddie freakin da. Let's get this shit over with." We walked down to the furnace. I knew what was going on. Dwighty-boy already had the iron ready. No one else in sight.

" Dwighty-boy is the iron ready?" Negan asked. I stood just a few feet away from Daryl. Negan even closer. He grabbed the iron.

" So Aj whats it going to be? I don't like doing this shit. But I need you as a soldier. I need you back. Are you going to make me do this. Burn Daryl's face off here."  
I punched a damn wall with the same hand I punched the cabinet with yesterday. " No please don't make me choose."

" This is the only way Aj… seriously are you going to make me do this. This is some messed up shit, I've already told you I don't enjoy doing it. But at the end of the day sweetheart. You are MY best soldier. And I need you back… so I'll give you a few options. You either become my soldier and Daryl keeps his face, you don't become my soldier and I burn his face off you wind back in the cell, or I burn his face until he dies and then I move on to Rosita. She dies. You see it. You wind up in the cell again. So what's it gonna be."

" Aj… just let em. Let em do it." Negan could see the pain and the anguish in my face. Everything falls on me and I always have to make the hard decision. I know what I have to do, but my words weren't forming.

" Fine…Your not gonna say anything. I'm gonna count before I burn this assholes face off."

"One…" I was pacing back and forth. " Two… are you seriously going to make me do this! Its Daryl Aj!" I became more pissed. He became louder. " Three… this is going to hurt like a bitch."

" Four!" I took a deep breath in, just as the Iron go even closer to Daryls face. " Stop. Stop. I'll be you soldier again.


End file.
